Zac Attack

Ch Ch Changes

2006-04-01T23:03:00.000-05:00

Next month will be the two year anniversary of the Zac Attack. In two years, a lot has happened. There have been successes, failures, friends gained, friends lost, parties, funerals, weddings, even a few births. Two years in the life of a guy named Zachary can be pretty exciting.

But I've never been a fellow to stay in one place for very long. I've gotten off of the beaten path lately -- read: the last few months -- and I need a realignment. I need something new. I tried to spice things up with some template changes, but sometimes you need to start completely fresh.

I was never a big fan of "Zac Attack." I don't attack anything. I just write. It was more a play on the character from Saved By the Bell than it had anything to do with my personality. And attackzacattack. Who really remembers that?

I wanted something new. Something.. easy. I wanted zac.blogspot.com, but it was already taken by a young chap who speaks some language I don't readily recognize. I think it's Portuguese. I just wanted zac, so I got the next best thing. Just Zac.

I'm writing this on April Fools Day, but I kid you not. The new url is justzac.blogspot.com. Nothing fancy, nothing all that new. Just me doing what I've always done. Tell your friends, change your blogrolls, make the necessary changes. I'm going to keep this blog up for old times' sake, but make sure everyone gets to the new place.

Remember: justzac.blogspot.com.

I'll see you after the jump.

PS -- I haven't fixed all the bugs. I'm not really all that good with HTML or CSS, so the code is getting to me.

General Public Announcement

2006-04-01T16:32:00.000-05:00

Petty people suck.

Thousands

2006-03-31T16:55:00.000-05:00

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice admitted today that the Bush administration "made tactical errors, thousands of them" in the run-up to and during the war -- err, liberation -- in Iraq. It makes me feel all safe inside and crap.

Friday Random Ten

2006-03-31T16:33:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. (And how.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Take Me Out -- Franz Ferdinand
2. Wannabe -- Spice Girls
3. Play the Game -- Queen
4. Everytime You Go Away -- Paul Young
5. One Sweet Day -- Mariah Carey
6. Sally Simpson -- The Who
7. Are You Jimmy Ray? -- Jimmy Ray
8. Fifty Cents -- Dios Malos
9. A Certain Romance -- Arctic Monkeys
10. Each Coming Night -- Iron & Wine

The Blame Game

2006-03-29T15:46:00.000-05:00

Iraq is the unstable, discombobulated mess it is today because of former dictator Saddam Hussein, President Bush said this afternoon in his third speech this month to muster public support for the war.

He reasoned, "The enemies of a free Iraq are employing the same tactics Saddam used, killing and terrorizing the Iraqi people in an effort to foment sectarian division."

Neither a hint nor a whisper escaped the president's mouth that the imbroglio seen by Americans every night on their televisions could have been prevented by thought-out planning, a proper understanding of cultural intricacies or an unambiguous plan for knowing when the war is over. Neglecting even to acknowledge these set-backs does a great disservice to the American people. We're left dumb-founded and overwhelmed at the violence still plaguing Iraq, unsure if it will ever end or when it will be safe to exit. The lack of any sort of guide to success in Iraq makes a sparse twenty-nine percent of Americans see the war, err -- liberation -- going swimmingly well.

Instead of owning up to mistakes, the Bush adminstration prefers to white-wash the past and to repeat failed offenses in the future. A quick glance at the posturing of the War Party toward Iran belies any belief they've learned their lesson.

Quo Vadis?

2006-03-27T22:58:00.000-05:00

Throughout the Plame investigation, Democrats placed much emphasis on the importance of the proceedings because the disclosure of classified information is intolerable. Now they decry the Justice Department's investigation into the leakers of the classified NSA eavesdropping program. Republicans, likewise, demand nothing short of a full investigation into the NSA leak while defending Lewis Libby's disclosure of classified information as insignificant and understandable.

Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison balked at the indictment of Libby as "some perjury technicality" while President Clinton's perjury was a grave, impeachable criminal offense.

To the end, it is loyalty to party and president -- above commitment to a particular set of political beliefs -- that determines the popular stand. We don't need political opportunists. We need politicians with some backbone. You can choose the path of same as always, or the path of demanding some conviction. Where are you going?

elsewhere
very superstitious | eurotophobic?

Intolerance is 4 Loooosers

2006-03-24T17:41:00.000-05:00

I was so busy this week that I wasn't really following the case of Abdul Rahman, a 41-year-old former medical aid worker who faces the death penalty under Islamic laws for becoming a Christian. But now that I'm doing some back-reading on the subject, I'm more and more concerned for him and for Afghanistan. Theocracy is bad in any form, whether extreme as in Afghanistan or tepid as in America with the 18th Amendment.

No one should die for their beliefs, no matter how out of the mainstream or how mundane. Thought-crimes are a thing of the past -- somewhere in the middle of the 1980s -- and shouldn't be carried over into the 21st century by any country.

Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, is rightly in an uproar, asking, "How can we congratulate ourselves for liberating Afghanistan from the rule of jihadists only to be ruled by radical Islamists who kill Christians?" He then adds: "Religious persecution leads inevitably to political tyranny. Five hundred years of history confirm this." Just as no one should suffer for their beliefs, no one should suffer because of someone else's religious beliefs. You know where I'm going with this.

Denying homosexuals basic rights is religious persecution. There is no real public benefit that comes from such intolerance. Those who believe that same-sex unions will single-handedly destroy the institution of marriage are usually the ones sitting idle as their congregations are divorcing at near fifty-percent the marriage rate. Allowing two people who love each other the right to marry is far less detrimental to the sacred institution than allowing two people to break it. I personally have nothing against divorce, but you can't talk about this special bond between a man and a woman and not take a stand against everything that threatens it. Cherry-picking one that suits your needs over the others makes you look dumb.

Mr. Perkins has called same-sex unions "counterfeit institutions" and coined homosexuality as a "death-style." He hardly seems fit to take the pulpit against any sort of intolerance.

And while homosexuals are currently safe from executions for being gay -- at least the government-sponsered variety -- theocratic leglislation is theocratic legislation. This poor man awaiting his verdict in Afghanistan should make us all stop and question what we do to our fellow men.

Step by Step

2006-03-24T15:54:00.000-05:00

I haven't had a haircut in two months. Not only does my head feel lighter, but I look damn good. Okay, so that's like one thing off of my to do list of sixty-three.

Elsewhere
Chafee v. Laffey | Grizzly Adams Redux

Friday Not-So Random 10

2006-03-24T14:19:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's Friday, and this is usually the time when I *try* to post ten random songs that come up on iTunes. This week, however, I'm shaking things up a bit. Tomorrow night my friends and I are going to Pittsburgh to do a little bit of dancing, a little bit of dining, and a whole lotta drinking. We don't all get together as one giant group that often, and we barely ever get to go dancing anywhere, so tomorrow is pretty special.

So my list this week will be the first ten awesome dance songs that pop in my head. In no particular order:

1. I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor. (Duh)
2. Believe, Cher.
3. Express Yourself, Madonna.
4. Vogue, Madonna.
5. Dancing Queen, ABBA. (No comments, please.)
6. Heya, Outkast.
7. Intergalactic, Beastie Boys. (Don't ask.)
8. Rock Your Body, Justin Timberlake. (One word: Nekkid.)
9. Martyr, Rusted Root
10. Weapon of Choice, Fatboy Slim

Lexiconservative

2006-03-21T16:09:00.000-05:00

In the battle over language that's currently underway in America, and that has always been thus, language, the lexicon a group of people use to describe ideas, abstract or concrete, can make or break an argument.

Are you pro-life or pro-death? Does pro-life describe your views on abortion or your views on the death penalty? If you're against abortion but for the death penalty, does that make you semi-pro-life? Or maybe semi-pro-death? Are you against abortion but also against government interference? Does that make you pro-choice, pro-death, pro-small government, or a little bit of everything?

What do you think of the Estate Tax (aka the Death Tax)? It's all about wording.

At the "Third Anniversary of Beginning of Iraq Liberation" (aka the Iraq War), the president spoke for two minutes about the war in Iraq and never once used the word "war." Iraq isn't at war, Iraq is a liberation. We're at war with Terror. Those terrorist bastards. But who are the terrorists? Are they the insurgency in Iraq? Are they the Iranians? Are they the North Koreans? Shouldn't the "terrorists" label be exclusively used on those who used airplanes to kill innocent Americans?

Using the label as an umbrella term for everyone fighting against the United States does a disservice to the families of the slain victims of 9/11. Their loved ones weren't killed because sheep-herder Joe from Fallujah feels the United States is occupying his country and wants them gone. Sheep-herder Joe's disconnect with reality doesn't a terrorist make.

So why the farse? Are you more comfortable killing terrorists or sheep-herder Joes? Terrorists aren't there to be loved, to feel compassion for. They are killing machines hell bent on the destruction of America and everything it stands for. The specific naming of everyone in Iraq as a terrorist discounts any line of thought that maybe some actually just want to be left alone. Maybe, just maybe, there are people in the insurgency who don't care about America or anything it stands for. They just don't want us in their country.

Humor at the GOP's Expense

2006-03-20T23:02:00.000-05:00

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Remember the whiny, insecure kid in nursery school, the one who always thought everyone was out to get him, and was always running to the teacher with complaints? Chances are he grew up to be a conservative. ... The confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grew up to be liberals.

Speaking of conservative insecurities, the GOP's having a bad case of the "Democrats" here going into the midterm elections. Poor chaps. I almost feel bad for them.

More! More! More!

2006-03-20T15:13:00.000-05:00

"More fighting and sacrifice will be required to achieve this victory..." -- Gee Double-ya, March 20, 2006

Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war
And when you ask them, "How much should we give?"
They only answer "More! More! More!"

-- "Fortunate Son," Creedence Clearwater Revival

Bubbly Badness

2006-03-19T17:24:00.000-05:00

Friday night at a St. Patrick's Day party at my friend's house, I was approached by a pretty girl who was one of those bubbly drunk girls. She seemed nice enough and I thought any guy would be lucky to get to know her, but the poor girl never picked up that I wasn't interested. I tried and tried to do everything in my power to show her that I'm not really attracted to, well -- her. Female. But she was a lost cause.

I moved around the house from room to room trying to get away from her, but she followed me like a little puppy. She'd put her hand on my arm when we'd talk -- or should I say when she talked to me and I nodded respectfully. By eleven, thought, I lost her in the crowd and didn't see her for the rest of the evening. I thought maybe I got through the worst of it, but I was mistaken.

This afternoon I met the friend who had the party for lunch. With him, he had a cd in a jewel case and a note. He handed it to me and said it was from Amanda, the girl at the party. This was written on the paper:

I see you on the street and you walk on by
You make me wanna hang my head down and cry
If you gave me half a chance you'd see
My desire burning inside of me
But you choose to look the other way
I've had to work much harder than this
For something I want don't try to resist me

Open your heart to me, baby
I hold the lock and you hold the key
Open your heart to me, darlin'
I'll give you love if you, you turn the key

Being a Madonna fan, I recognized the song right away. But more than the good taste in music I saw she possessed, I realized that she was really scary. I mean, that's down-right stalkerish! The CD, of course, has one song on it: Open Your Heart by Madonna. My personaly favorite line:

Don't try to run, I can keep up with you.
Nothing can stop me from trying...

Oh my.

Slumped

2006-03-18T15:13:00.000-05:00

36: the approval rating for President George W. Bush in the latest Newsweek poll.

44: the approval rating for the president's handling of terrorism and homeland security.

29: the approval rating for the president's handling of Iraq.

28: the approval rating for the president's handling of energy policy and health care.

36: the approval rating for the president's handling of the economy.

42: the percent of adults in the general public that would support Congressional censure of the president.

26: the percent of adults in the general public that say they think Congress should actually impeach the president.

5: the percent of Republicans who would support impeaching the president.

Friday Random Ten

2006-03-18T13:28:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. (Clap and it will be so.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Quiet Town -- Josh Rouse
2. Keep Her Away From Me -- Luke Doucet
3. Phantom Limb (Slight Return) -- Shaun Verreault
4. See You On the Moon! -- Great Lake Swimmers
5. Skip the Foreplay -- Oh No! Oh My!
6. Dudley -- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
7. Summertwin -- Blitzen Trapper
8. Love Like Semtex -- Infadels
9. Yeah Yeah Yeah Song -- The Flaming Lips
10. Barely Listening -- Pilate

And, as of Saturday March 18, these are the songs I've listened to the most since I got my iPod. I'm a dork. What can I say?

Do or Die (politically)!

2006-03-18T11:46:00.000-05:00

This is what happens when you sleep with the Devil.

Fighting Ourselves

2006-03-14T15:49:00.000-05:00

I said before that I find the letters to magazines sometimes more enjoyable than the actual articles. This week is no different. I read this letter from Normal Michael Harman, Harpers Ferry, W.Va, today in The American Conservative.

While the U.S. spends billions of dollars transporting hundreds of thousands of troops and equipment halfway around the world, al Qaeda and its supporters build homemade IEDs out of ordinary household products and deliver them on motorbikes for pennies. While the administration rants about American moral superiority and military supremacy, a bunch of mail-order electricians humiliate the great American military machine on a daily basis -- except, that is, when it is busy humiliating itself by the slaughter of civilians.

Thus far this war on terror has only brough chaos and death, increased the number of terrorists in the world, ratched up international tensions, exacerbated cultural and religious animosities, wasted enormous amounts of American wealth, driven America's standing in the world to levels somewhere below whale excrement, and rent the last tenulous strands of the American democracy. If this be American conservative governance, I'll take the liberals.

I may not agree with everything he says -- at least not one-hundred percent -- but Mr. Harman makes pretty good points. And everyone's entitled to his opinion.

Shocked, I Tell You

2006-03-11T15:56:00.000-05:00

What's more shocking, that former Bush administration domestic policy adviser Claude Allen was so hard up for money after working for the White House that he felt it necessary to make phony refunds at department stores (totaling some $5,000) or that there are black Republicans? I can't decide!

"When I heard the story last night, I was shocked, and my first reaction was one of disappointment, deep disappointment -- if it's true -- that we were not fully informed," President Bush said. "Shortly thereafter, I felt really sad for the Allen family." An aide reportedly told the president after the statement that the entire Allen family is, in fact, also black.

Saturday Semi-Random 10

2006-03-11T12:48:00.000-05:00

A few friends and I just stayed in last night at a friend's house and watched a movie in her basement. It was a musical; I've been listening to the soundtrack all morning. Can you tell by the songs on my playlist what musical it was? Ha!

1. Seasons of Love
2. Rent
3. You'll See
4. One Song Glory
5. Light My Candle
6. Today 4 U
7. Tango: Maureen
8. Life Support
9. Out Tonight
10. Another Day

Campaign to Defend the Cons.

2006-03-10T15:07:00.000-05:00

Dear Mr. Reed, Rev. Sheldon and Mr. Dobson,

For years, you've attacked the freedom of women to control their own bodies, waged war on gay marriage, and fought to erode one of the most central tenets of our Constitution: the separation between church and state.

You've always claimed the moral high ground, asserting the right to tell people how to live and condemning millions of Americans for actions you deemed immoral. But your high ground is washed away. After years of condemning gambling as a social ill, you're caught knee-deep in pro-gambling campaigns hatched by indicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

It's time to stop telling others how to act, and start practicing what you preach.

End your hypocrisy.

Sincerely, DefCon.

Like Chocolate and Sex

2006-03-10T12:28:00.000-05:00

All obsessions must be indulged from time to time.

Poor President Bush. At least the United Arab Emirates withdrew their bid to take over American ports so the president didn't have to make good on his veto promise. It always works like that, eh? He threatens to slap his never-used veto on two bills that are so out of the mainstream idea of what's right that his aides have to find a face-saving way out of the situation. First a veto for a ban on torture and now a veto for a ban on allowing one of only three nations in the world that recognized Taliban Afghanistan from running the already vulnerable American ports.

Emporer's Clothes. Only thirty-seven percent of Americans approve of the president's overall performance -- the lowest in his presidency by AP/Ipsos polls. Bush's job approval among Republicans plummeted from 82 percent in February to 74 percent. Nearly 70 percent of people say the U.S. is on the wrong track, a 6-point jump since February. Nearly four out of five Americans, including 70 percent of Republicans, believe civil war will break out in Iraq. That sucks.

Petty Politics

2006-03-08T21:48:00.000-05:00

My dad told me today that he heard on the radio this afternoon about twelve United States Representatives voting against designating former President Bill Clinton's childhood home a National Historic Site. Disgusted with the petty politics of the day, my father -- usually a quiet, right-of-center man -- expressed extreme disappointment that partisan bickering invaded such a mundane, inconsequential vote like creating a National Historic Site. "Twelve stupid, stupid people," my father said, shaking his head and looking at the floor. We were in the car and he was driving so I had a moment of panic. But still.

I looked the story up on Google News and found an article from the Arkansas Times' blog.

Republicans have a default tactic whenever they are under duress: attack Bill Clinton (even though he has been out of office for over five years now).

It's a Small World. If you will kindly look at the thirteenth comment, you will see that it is written by none other than our friendly, resident conservative, Hunkahillbilly. Honestly, how much free time does he have to find himself commenting so often and so prolifically that I randomly come across one of his comments in the real world? Dude. Seriously. Get a hobby.

It's Voting Time

2006-03-07T18:20:00.000-05:00

The president, wasting the massive amount of gas is takes to fly Air Force One 1,500 miles, made it to his home state today so he could vote in the Texas primary. Isn't that great? No matter who you are or where you are, it is your civic duty to vote! No matter the distance between you and your polling place, daggone-it, you go use your voice!

Then there's this from the Associated Press.

White House press secretary Scott McClellan wouldn't say whether Bush had to make the trip because he wanted to vote in person or, as some suspect, because aides forgot to get him as absentee ballot.

That's just kinda funny.

Mr. George and Me

2006-03-06T19:43:00.000-05:00

A life philosophy our president and I can agree on:

"See, we want everybody in this country -- every person: we want the addict, we want the single lonely mom, we want the child, the dyslexic child -- all to feel a part of the future of this country."
-- George W. Bush, October 29, 2003

Some Thoughts

2006-03-04T11:16:00.000-05:00

According to the British weekly New Scientist, the Pentagon is funding research to turn sharks into stealth spies that would patrol the ocean. No word yet if they'll have frickin laser beams attached to their heads.

And in recounting the mosque destructions last week in Iraq, Newsweek tells the story of Ali:

Minutes later, Ali heard three loud blasts: a nearby Sunni mosque had been hit with RPGs.

I've been known to play Age of Empires II and Civilization III, but I never suspected those Dungeons and Dragons nerds would ever be of any use to anyone.

You Can't Touch This

2006-03-04T10:52:00.000-05:00

But he just did.

Friday Random 10

2006-03-03T22:48:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. (The Internet[s] is/are working finally.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Our House (Madness, Sounds of the Eighties)
2. Only Living Boy in New York (David Mead)
3. Only the Good Die Young (Billy Joel, Greatest Hits)
4. Leaving on a Jetplane (John Denver)
5. Feel Good Inc. (Reuban, BBC Radio 1 Session)
6. Underneath Your Clothes (Shakira, Laundry Service)
7. She Really Wants You (Aimee Mann, Forgotten Arm acoustic)
8. Wooden Ships (CSNY, So Far)
9. Little Red Corvette (Prince, The Hits)
10. The Way You Move (Big Boi, Speakerboxxx)

Backstreet's Back

2006-03-01T16:22:00.000-05:00

Hark, I am back. Err -- kinda. Last week was a little hectic with packing boxes, loading boxes into trucks and unloading said boxes into the new house. I just got phone service this afternoon, having called the phone company every day since Friday. Lots of fun there.

I'm tired. A tad bit cranky. And I don't have much to say. But give me a few hours here to collect my thoughts and unwind. Hell, Dish TV isn't coming until Saturday to connect the satellite.

Of Movies and Television Shows

2006-02-24T14:30:00.000-05:00

It's my day off so the biggest dilemma I'm facing today is whether tonight I should see Brokeback Mountain for the second time or to see Munich for the first. I really enjoyed Brokeback Mountain, and wouldn't necessarily have a problem watching it again, but it's so damned depressing. I'm feeling glum just thinking about it. So I don't know.

On the kickass side of things, three of the movies that should be arriving in my mailbox tomorrow from Netflix are: Battlestar Galactica Season 1: Disc Five, Battlestar Galactica Season 2.0: Disc One, and Count Duckula Season 1: Disc One. Do you remember Count Duckula? I haven't seen the show in at least ten years so I'm kinda hoping it's as good as I remember.

A friend of mine got Duck Tales Season 1 from his girlfriend for Valentine's Day and I'm happy to report it's still as wonderful as ever. In elementary school I would run home from the bus stop just in time to sing along with the theme song. Good times.

And, by coincidence, today's Edward James Olmos' birthday. He's 59.

Friday's Random 10

2006-02-24T12:20:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. (Rhymes with Pieday!) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Helpless (CSNY, So Far)
2. Landslide (Fleetwood Mac, The Dance)
3. Not Much Left (Jay Nash, Some Kind of Comfort)
4. Buffalo Nickel (Bela Fleck, Bluegrass Sessions)
5. 4am (Our Lady Peace, Clumsy)
6. Tangled Up in Blue (Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks)
7. Part-Time Lover (Stevie Wonder, Definitive Collection)
8. Girls (The Beastie Boys, Licensed to Ill)
9. Different Drum (Linda Ronstadt, Very Best)
10. Teenage Dirtbag (Wheatus, Wheatus)

In These Times

2006-02-23T19:52:00.000-05:00

One of those silly forwards.

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. One day he decided that he would love to plant potatoes and herbs in his garden, but he knew he was alone and too old and weak. His son was in college in Paris, so the old man sent him an e-mail explaining the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, that you would help me and dig up the garden for me. I love you, your father."

The following day, the old man received a response e-mail from his son:

"Beloved father, please don't touch the garden. That is where I have hidden 'the THING.' I love you, too, Ahmed."

At 4pm the FBI and the Rangers visited the house of the old man and took the whole garden apart, searching every inch. But they couldn't find anything. Disappointed, they left the house. The next day, the old man received another e-mail from his son:

"Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That is all I could do for you from here. Your loving son, Ahmed."

Good vs. Evil

2006-02-23T16:32:00.000-05:00

Bad News: At least 112 people have died in Iraq by sectarian violence since the bombing of a Shiite shrine yesterday.

Good News: Cadbury Creme Eggs are in stores for the holiday.

Bad News: Kid Rock not only made a sex tape, but people have it and are threatening to release it.

Good News: President Bush today assured a wary public that there's nothing to be alarmed about a government with terrorist connections running highly sensitive port transactions on American soil. "The more people learn about the transaction that has been scrutinized and approved by my government," Bush said, "the more they'll be comforted that our ports will be secure."

Bad News: Did he just say "my government"?

Bad News for Bush: DeLay is now calling him an idiot.

Good News for Bush: Only 1061 days until he quietly retires.

Nincompoopery

2006-02-21T15:39:00.000-05:00

I must be running a fever because I'm starting to see some sense -- lo, as little as possible -- in the writings and rantings of conservative authors. Don't get me wrong, I think the conservative movement is currently being run by oblivious nincompoops with re-election rather than sound policy on their minds. But there's a part of me that respects certain tenets of the conservative movement. First there was a small part of what Pattie B wrote, and now this. I shudder at the thought.

By no means do I wish to associate Ann Coulter with anything right in conservative thought, but I had the unwelcome opportunity to read her recent column without realizing who had written it until the very end. Most of it, as always, is rubbish. It's more pandering to the far-right than speaking of anything of substance. But the manchild did bring up a very good point. And before I run out for dinner with a friend, I wanted to post on it and see what everyone thinks.

The woman with the adam's apple writes,

Muslims in Syria torched the Danish Embassy a few weeks ago, burning it to the ground. According to everyone, the Syrian government was behind the attack -- the prime minister of Denmark, Condoleezza Rice and White House spokesman Scott McClellan. I think even the gals on "The View" have acknowledged that Damascus was behind this one.

McClellan said: "We will hold Syria responsible for such violent demonstrations since they do not take place in that country without government knowledge and support."

We are signatories to a treaty that requires us to do more than "hold Syria responsible" for this attack. Syria has staged a state-sponsored attack on our NATO partner on Danish soil, the Danish embassy. According to the terms of the NATO treaty, the United States and most of Europe have an obligation to go to war with Syria.

Honest to goodness, why haven't we declared war on Syria? For once, she speaks the truth. She speaks rationally -- at least in this small part of the article. If we are to possess treaties with nations, ought we not abide by the obligations written? Or is this a small part of a bigger picture? See: Geneva Conventions.

Martial Arts Kick-Assness

2006-02-21T14:04:00.000-05:00

Since when does Saruman, Willy Wonka's father, Count Dooku and the narrator for the Rocky Horror Picture Show write for the Washington Post. With that voice, he should be reading the news, not writing it.

The Truth

2006-02-21T13:18:00.000-05:00

Open Revolt!

"And these days Bush's challenge, and Cheney's, is not that their enemies hate them, since it has been forever thus; it is that they are increasingly at odds with their friends." -- Time, February 19, 2006.

Update: More unrest.

Update II: It's all making a little more sense. The Bush administration is forcefully defending its decision to allow a country with terrorist ties, the United Arab Emirates, to run key ports around the United States. So much is Bush serious about this decision, he's threatening to veto any bill contrary to his will. Why would the president be so adamant about jeopardizing his beloved country? Perhaps the Inter Press Service can shine some light on the subject.

The United States' trade relationship with the UAE is the third largest in the Middle East, after Israel and Saudi Arabia. The two nations are engaged in bilateral free talks that would liberalise trade between the two countries and would, in theory at least, allow companies to own and operate businesses in both nations. 'There are legitimate security questions to be asked but it would be a mistake and really an insult to one of our leading trading partners in that region to reject this commercial transaction out of hand,' said Daniel T. Griswold, who directs the Center for Trade Policy Studies at the Cato Institute, a Washington-based libertarian think tank.

President Bush is cowtowing to the UAE because he wants an industry-written free-trade agreement to go through without a hitch. The president of the United States, in his infinite wisdom, is putting the interests of the men who put money in the GOP's war-chest above the well-being of the American people.

No Reagan conservative, indeed. The empty threat of a veto is laughable. He threatened to veto legislation barring the CIA from torturing. The President, Congress, and the American people knew he couldn't allow his very first veto in five years to be in favor of torture. He flip-flopped and quickly embraced the legislation. Just like now. The President, Congress, and the American people know he won't allow his first veto in six years to be in favor of turning over the security of our ports to a country with terrorist ties. It's just plain dumb.

Bringing It

2006-02-21T12:04:00.000-05:00

About two weeks ago I posted that New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof was asking readers to send him money to finance a trip to Darfur for Bill O'Reilly so that the TV/radio talkster could see first-hand "the hundreds of thousands of rapes, murders and mutilations in Darfur." Editor & Publisher is reporting today that Kristof has raised almost three-quarters of a million dollars. No word on whether O'Reilly will take it.

It's an Uphill Battle

2006-02-21T00:15:00.000-05:00

[...] IT'S MOMENTS LIKE THESE, SO TRIVIAL IN some ways yet so memorable in others, that can waste time on the political calendar in ways that are clear only to history. Bush and Cheney have barely over 1,000 days left and things they want to get done. But to succeed, they need to resist as long as possible the forces that make Administrations irrelevant. "Some people in the White House are worried that this will hasten the start of the formal lame-duck period, which they were hoping to put off until after the midterm elections," said a Republican official. "This showed a weakened President and a Vice President in a bubble within a bubble." The minute the November midterms are over, attention will turn even faster than usual to the 2008 presidential and vice-presidential race, because some states are holding their primaries earlier and both nominations are wide open. Bush's approval rating, according to a new TIME poll, is lodged at 40%, Cheney's at 29%. Bush and Cheney have little hope of driving an agenda if they are not in control of it or if they are playing defense. And these days Bush's challenge, and Cheney's, is not that their enemies hate them, since it has been forever thus; it is that they are increasingly at odds with their friends.

-- Time, February 19, 2006

Word of the Day

2006-02-20T16:05:00.000-05:00

Tingo, v. to take all the objects one desires from the house of a friend, one at a time, by asking to borrow them.

In Just Six Short Years

2006-02-20T15:29:00.000-05:00

Doug Bandow writes in "Republic for Sale" in the latest issue of The American Conservative, "The Cato Institute's David Boaz reports that the number of registered lobbying firms jumped from 1701 to 2060 in the last six years; over the same period, lobbyist spending went up 50 percent, and the number of companies with lobbyists rose 58 percent. The number of lobbyists in the nation’s capital approaches 35,000, double the number in 2000. Even more stunning, the number of firms with DC offices jumped tenfold between 1961 and 1982."

Then he remarks: Jan Witold Baran, former general counsel of the Republican National Committee, observes, "The size of the lobbyist population is proportional to the size of government." Todd Purdum of Vanity Fair notes that the "astounding growth of the lobbying industry ... has tracked the growth of the federal government itself."

Larger government. Bigger deficits. Less safe.
The Republican Legacy.™ Is this where you wanted to be in six years?

Down Wit' the Big G

2006-02-20T15:05:00.000-05:00

Pattie B, as he does from time to time, has an interesting piece posted today on Newt Gingrich, Winston Churchill and Hitler. Mr. B hears the persistent drumming of the "War Party" as they prepare for a pre-emptive strike against Iran, and being the proto-isolationist he is, he doesn't like it. Pre-emptive or not -- Newt claims Iranians "have been proactively at war with us since 1979" -- any strike against Iran isn't going to end pretty. Our leaders, if you wish to call them that, are stuck between Iraq and a hard place, and with no forseeable pleasant way out. Read the article for more.

Welcome, Brothers & Sisters

2006-02-19T00:30:00.000-05:00

Damn, "the largest gathering of Christian churches in nearly a decade" issued a statement joining the unpatriotic, hippy, pack-up-and-run crowd. Does no one care for the troops anymore?! They're emboldening the enemy! News at 11.

"...God has been enlisted in national agendas that are nothing short of idolatrous."

Friday Random 10

2006-02-17T09:07:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. (And cold and rainy.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. I'm Looking Through You (Wallflowers, I Am Sam soundtrack)
2. Lost in a Crowd (Rusted Root, When I Woke)
3. Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani, Love. Angel. Music. Baby.)
4. It Hurts 2 C U Dance So Well (The Pipettes, Demos)
5. Ready, Steady, Go (The Meices, Empire Records soundtrack)
6. Sale (Frances, Frances)
7. Trains (Ryan Adams, Jacksonville City Nights)
8. American Music (Violent Femmes, Add It Up)
9. Pennyroyal Tea (Nirvana, MTV Unplugged)
10. Big Rock Candy Mountain (Harry McClintock, O Brother soundtrack)

What I Wanted to Comment

2006-02-17T08:31:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to say anything because I thought the error was too blatant to warrant a post. But because I am inexplicably unable to comment on Hegemon's blog and none of his faithful readers picked up on it, I'll just have to make my observation here.

In Tom's most recent post, which has been posted for almost a full twenty-four hours, Tom believes he is taking Democrat Harry Reid to task for "calling on Vice President Dick Cheney to hold a press conference to answer questions about his accidental shooting of a fellow hunter in Texas over the weekend." Tom doesn't understand why Cheney would need to do any further explaining after having a little sit-down with Brit Hume.

That would make sense if Reid had asked for the press conference after the interview. Even in the sentence Tom quotes, any reader of his blog can read -- without clicking the link which, by the way, doesn't work -- that Reid asked for the press conference "Wednesday morning." Cheney and Brit had their little pity-party windstorm afternoon at around two pm.

When the hunger to lurch to the right forces you to misrepresent the facts in a news story, you know you're obsessed. Tom, you're better than that.

UPDATE: I failed to mention earlier when I posted this that Harry Reid is not the only congressional member to pressure the White House to get Mr. Cheney to address the incident publicly. Many were from Cheney's own party.

It should also be noted that the Wall Street Journal, hardly a "liberal" member of the press, is starting to point out discrepancies in the veep's story.

The report quotes Mr. Cheney as saying that Mr. Whittington was about 30 yards away from him when he turned in the direction of a flying quail and shot.

That description, though, has become a subject of debate among hunters and experts, who question whether a shot fired at that distance could have penetrated Mr. Whittington's chest wall, as seems to have happened in the accident.

"I found that difficult to believe," says Gary Goodpaster, an official at Ducks Unlimited, a Memphis, Tenn., conservation group. "For that to have happened, the shot had to be much, much closer than 30 yards."

Mistaking Loyalties

2006-02-16T17:23:00.000-05:00

Judge Andrew Collins, a top British judge, told London's High Court today that the United States' idea of what constituted torture was "not the same as ours and doesn't appear to coincide with that of most civilized countries."

The Bush administration's warped sense of right and wrong does not represent my views, nor the views of my friends or family. Torture is torture is torture, and cannot and should not be condoned in any sense of the word. The United States' idea of torture is not solely that of the Bush adminstration. That anyone would mistake that is of the utmost irresponsibility.

The country and the president are two distinct entities. You can love your country and despise the actions of the president. You can publicly disagree with the president and still be patriotic. Some don't understand this concept and equate dissent with disloyalty, but their tricks at demonizing those who disagree with them grow hollow. So Mr. Collins, don't be a horse's ass. Denounce those who deserve it and leave the rest of us alone.

An Iranian Thought

2006-02-16T16:13:00.000-05:00

There aren't many things I like about Iran. An Iranian friend of mine -- his parents are American citizens who came to America from Iran -- gets frustrated with me because I confuse the government of Iran with the history and the people of the country. But it's hard not to. This is a country where basic human rights don't exist, a country where homosexuals are murdered for simply being homosexual, men are superior for having a penis and women are inferior for having vaginas. It's a country that takes fundamentalist Islam to holy-fuck territory and a country content on hating whole groups of people just for being alive. It surely can't be a fun place. And to think that they seek nuclear weapons -- even France admitted as much today -- makes the future of the country and the world all the more uncertain.

But what I don't understand is the need for people to act like babies and take their fights into semantics. The whole french fries into freedom fries over so-called anger toward the French made me roll my eyes on more than one occassion. French fries get their name from the way the potatoes are cut, not from the perceived country of origin. But now the Iranians are not eating Danish pastries, but "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad." What purpose does this serve, really?

Just today, a kid at work got really, really angry with me because I made him sit in a chair for timeout and he turned around, looked at me and said with his hands swinging wildly by his head, "I'm never coming back here again! Na na na na na na na na!" Really, dude. Do me a favor and don't. Iran, grow the fuck up. Stop killing people, stop denouncing Israel, stop trying to make nuclear weapons. And for God's sake people of the world, they're french fries.

Working It Out

2006-02-15T23:44:00.000-05:00

Following the freak snowstorm this past week that dumped tons and tons of snow on the northeastern United States, my town enjoyed rather nice weather for a change. The thermometer outside of the building where I work registered a balmy 50 degrees this afternoon, and it's supposed to reach 52 degrees tomorrow.

I took the change in weather to get outside this evening. Instead of being trapped inside on a treadmill, I was able to break out! I was able to break free and run far, far far away. Well, really I just drove my ass to the track but I ran a good two miles. I can go more but my lungs aren't used to the damned cold chill in the air.

I got think a lot about life, relationships and music. I was the only peson at the track at nine this evening so I cranked up the volume on my iPod and jammed out like nobody's business. I sang when the feeling hit me. I danced when the groove was oh so sweet. I was a walking iPod commercial.

But yeah, I was able to get my think on about a lot of things that've been bothering me. That's the beauty of running or any physical activity. You let your body get into a groove and your mind is free to wonder and work out any problem you may have in your life. And sometimes, by golly, when you get to do that activity under the stars, sometimes life is just too perfect.

Voter Fraud

2006-02-15T18:43:00.000-05:00

So Ann Coulter is either really, really stupid or she could have knowingly committed a third-degree felony. Whatever happens, I'm sure Ann will take it like a man.

Happy VD

2006-02-14T19:39:00.000-05:00

As my friends and I called it in college, Venereal Disease. I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day, but not due to the overcommercialization or because I'm jilted because I don't have someone to share it with today. I don't like it simply for the fact that I've never had a boyfriend during the blessed holiday.

Since coming out atleast partially my senior year of high school and thus moving from awkwardly dating girls to awkwardly dating guys, I have never had a boyfriend on February 14. Perhaps a curse, perhaps coincidence, boyfriends and I just don't make it too far into the month of supposed love and happiness.

I remember my first Valentine's Day when it was supposed to mean something. My girlfriend Becky -- who, as it turns out years later, came out to her friends and family as a lesbian -- and I had been dating for three months by the time February crept upon us. I was in seventh grade, she was in sixth. By this time in my life I had already come out to myself but had also consigned myself to the life of unhappy straightness. (This self-realization and self-denial lasted a good eight or nine years out of my almost-24 year existence.) Becky's mother bought all the presents and said they were from me. We didn't last a month longer.

Looking at the reasons why I unambiguously don't like Valentines's Day, I realize that the day has come to represent an inability of mine to make a relationship last. In six years since coming out of the closet and putting myself squarely on the dating scene, my longest relationship is three months. How many possibly fulfilling relationships have I ruined because of issues I can't deal with? How many feasibly long-lasting relationships have I rejected because I can't stand to be rejected so I rid myself of those who could hurt me?

Another year to live. Another Valentine's Day to hate.

Heart Stopping Excitement

2006-02-14T16:27:00.000-05:00

The 78-year-old lawyer who was shot by Dick Cheney in a hunting accident has some birdshot lodged in his heart and he had a "minor heart attack," a hospital official said Tuesday.

He allegedly contracted a minor case of The Cheney after being in close proximity with the vice president.

David Letterman:
"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
From "Cheney's Excuses," Monday night's Top 10 list: "I thought the guy was trying to go gay cowboy on me."

Jay Leno:
"After he shot the guy, he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'"
"Cheney's defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the White House since Bill Clinton."

Barnum's in Iraq

2006-02-13T17:39:00.000-05:00

This isn't a trial. This is a circus.

The former Iraqi leader and his co-defendants were forced to attend the session. Saddam appeared in a traditional Arab robe and bedroom slippers instead of his usual crisp suit, arguing vehemently with the judge and shouting "Down with Bush!" as he waved his finger.

His top co-defendant and half brother, Barzan Ibrahim -- dressed only in long underwear -- struggled with guards as he was pulled into the courtroom. Ibrahim, the former chief of intelligence, then sat on the floor with his back to the judge in protest for much of the session.

How to Pray

2006-02-13T16:50:00.000-05:00

As I do from time to time, I got an email from the holy Dr. Rick Scarborough, president of Vision America, once again discussing his upcoming conference on the War on Christians and the values voter called The War On Christians And The Values Voter In 2006. He wrote me to inform me of two things. One, if I buy tickets now I can save $24 for individuals, $35 for couples.

Dr. Scarborough also tells me today in the email that Chaplain Gordon Klingenschmitt has been added to the list of speakers at the conference. Klingenschmitt, Scarborough says, "fasted outside the White House for 18 days to secure the right to pray as Jesus instructed us." This is odd because I didn't know the president denied anyone -- let alone Mr. Kligenschmitt -- the right to pray in the privacy of one's own bedroom.

Jesus explicitly describes the correct way to pray in Matthew 6:5-6. "When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites! They love to stand up and pray in the houses of worship and on the street corners, so that everyone will see them. I assure you, they have already been paid in full. But when you pray, go to your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what you do in private, will reward you."

Wouldn't anyone who read the Bible, or even parts of the Bible, including Chaplain Klingenschmitt, know this passage already? The Messiah, the Son of God gave direct instructions to His people on the correct way to pray to the Almighty Father. How can Scarborough, Klingenschmitt or anyone else confuse His words? This is one of the things wrong with organized religion. Those who pretend to be learned about the Bible and God's Word use the Bible and God's Word to mislead the masses. The Chaplin didn't starve himself outside of the White House for anything noble. In fact, it was a publicity stunt against nothing that is being used to split the population into those who fall for their falsehoods and those who see them for what they really are: hypocrites. Jesus himself said, "I assure you, they have already been paid in full." Perhaps it is not the homosexuals who should worry about their immortal souls. It will be the hypocrites and the misleaders who will answer for their crimes against religion.

Christianity has survived a legacy of arrests and executions and back-door prayer meetings in ancient Rome, the Soviet Union and the Middle East. I don't think it's in trouble.

He Didn't Shoot the Deputy

2006-02-12T23:36:00.000-05:00

He shot a man. In other news, GOP Sen. George Allen said on Sunday that a full investigation is necessary to see to what extent Dick Cheney and others in the CIA leak probe authorized an aide to give secret information to reporters. You know, national security and all that jazz.

Let's get back to the fact that Cheney shot a man. I was napping this afternoon and woke up to pee. I ventured out to the kitchen, passing the living room where I heard the music for breaking news on TV. I watched the little news brief on the incident and then went back to bed. Fast forward to about three hours when I woke up and went about my normal business. A part of me thought maybe the whole incident was just all part of a weird dream. Alas, no. It's now a documented fact that Dick Cheney knows very little about gun safety.

The saddest/funniest paragraph from the story on the shooting:

"Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been," she said. "The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came."

Call Me

2006-02-12T12:21:00.000-05:00

James Tobin, a former RNC regional director in New Hampshire, was accused of helping former state GOP executive director Chuck McGee carry out a plan to jam Democratic and firefighters union get-out-the-vote telephone lines on the morning of Election Day 2002, and subsequently was found guilty. He faces a maximum seven-year prison term and $500,000 in fines.

That's pretty low, eh? Jamming telephone lines of the opponent so they can't call voters and make sure they go vote. You would think the GOP would label him scum and move on. But, alas, no. The Republican National Committee has spent $2.5 million for his defense. Two-point-five million dollars. He's what's wrong with politics.

Splitting Hairs

2006-02-11T23:34:00.000-05:00

When asked about a picture, provided by Chief Raul Garza of the Kickapoo tribe of Texas, of President Bush and disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff at a meeting for a group of state legislators who were supporting Mr. Bush's 2001 tax cut plan, press secretary Scotty McClellan made the comment that it was unclear how the lobbyist had entered the White House grounds.

If they can't keep tabs on the people on the White House grounds, what are the chances that they can keep terrorists out of the country?

Friday Random 10

2006-02-10T13:58:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. (Vendredi, en français.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Float On (Modest Mouse, Mix CD)
2. Mr. Jones (Counting Crows, August & Everything After)
3. Good Intentions (Toad the Wet Sprocket, In Light Syrup)
4. Beside Fall in Love (OK Jones, Push/Pull)
5. Africa (Toto, Toto IV)
6. Shelter From the Storm (Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks)
7. Mother Nature's Son (Sheryl Crow, I Am Sam soundtrack)
8. Traveling Soldier (Dixie Chicks, Mix CD)
9. Roses (Andre 3000, The Love Below)
10. Babylon (David Gray, White Ladder)

Great Lyrics of the Week

I hope she's speeding on the way to the club, trying to hurry up to get to some baller or singer or somebody like that and try to put on her makeup in the mirror and crash, crash, crash into a ditch!

A Savage People Can Like

2006-02-10T09:05:00.000-05:00

This may very well be my favorite op-ed piece ever written. Dan Savage seamlessly portrays fundamental Christians as hypocrites and total losers by comparing the community's response to two different, yet connected, movies. It's brilliant and I may just write him a letter of thanks. Here are some of my favorite passages.

"Gay activist" is a term evangelicals apply to any homosexual who isn't a gay doormat.

...that's troubling to evangelical Christians who have invested a decade and millions of dollars promoting the notion that gay men can be converted to heterosexuality, or become "ex-gay." It is, they insist, an ex-gay movement, although I've never met a gay man who was moved to join it.

Sometimes I wonder if evangelicals really believe that gay men can go straight. If they don't think Chad Allen can play straight convincingly for 108 minutes, do they honestly imagine that gay men who aren't actors can play straight for a lifetime?

If anything, supporters of traditional marriage should want gay men out of the heterosexual marriage market entirely.

Sappy Internet Love Poems

2006-02-09T19:26:00.000-05:00

Someone from the usdoj.gov server found my writings this afternoon by way of this American blog written in French. Reading through it inspired me to write a post every so often on sappy Internet love poems. The first will obviously be in French with a rough translation from yours truly.

tu es mon sang, tu es mon oxygène
tu es ma raison d'être
tu es mon remède
tout ne m'est rien si c'est sans toi

you are my blood, you are my oxygen
you are my reason for being
you are my remedy
all is nothing to me if it's without you.

I Authorize Thee

2006-02-09T19:16:00.000-05:00

It is being reported today by the National Journal that "Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby, testified to a federal grand jury that he had been 'authorized' by Cheney and other White House 'superiors' in the summer of 2003 to disclose classified information to journalists to defend the Bush administration's use of prewar intelligence in making the case to go to war with Iraq, according to attorneys familiar with the matter, and to court records."

Whatever happened to the conservative mantra of protecting national security? I mean, they pretend to be champions of freedom, destroyers of terrorism and protectors of the homeland, but they quickly shed any sort of conviction if it means saving their asses from unethical, illegal and/or embarrassing deeds. While on the subject, whatever happened to the conservative mantra of limited government? That always gets a laugh or two. Or three or four.

No Informative Value

2006-02-09T16:47:00.000-05:00

Today a mother of a student came into the classroom to discuss her child's behavior recently and to see what progress we have noted since the last meeting. She's only a few years older than I am, maybe late twenties, and is pregnent with her seventh child. She miscarried one, so this is going to be the sixth child living with them in a cramped house outside of a small town. It's a regular 21st-century Brady Bunch.

The conversation quickly moved to her pregnency. She's hoping for a girl, whom she wants to call Sugar. If it's a boy, MacGyver will be his name. And yet she can't understand where these celebrities come up with their children's names. "Apple," she asked. "Where did she get that?!" Then she offered that her husband -- yes, she's actually married! -- thought of the name Hummer but she doesn't think so because it reminds her of a blow-job.

And this is the future of our country. God help us all.

Angry Righty Tighties

2006-02-09T16:32:00.000-05:00

The Associated Press today writes,

The leader of Hezbollah, heading a march by hundreds of thousands of Shiite Muslims Thursday, said President Bush and his secretary of state should "shut up" after they accused Syria and Iran of fueling protests over cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad.

How childish is that? Honestly, who says "shut up" over and over again like a rabid lunatic? Oh yeah, him.

In other, angry rightist spewing, yesterday radio host Glenn Beck asked his listeners, "Is there a bigger waste of skin than Jimmy Carter?" If a Democrat said this about any former GOP president, the Democrat would be labeled "angry" and crucified by the so-called liberal media. Oh how the hypocrisy abounds.

And what's a 23-second long standing ovation for a reverend chastising the Bush administration during Coretta King's funeral to FOX News? Blasphemy. And yet the orgy previously known as the Reagan funeral knew no such editing. Funny.

Break Out the Whips

2006-02-09T16:15:00.000-05:00

The president is in New Hampshire today attempting to bring people to the light. No, he's not saving souls. He's trying to garner support for the 2007 budget -- and it ain't looking good.

The right-leaning Union Leader wrote, "Mr. President, you are not fooling anyone. Stop these short-term political games and give us a budget that brings federal spending down to a sustainable level. Don't let the American people down by passing this problem on to our children."

The middle of the road Nashua Telegraph wrote, "Your administration says the nation is still on course to reduce the deficit in half by 2009. It sounds much too good to be true. And while we're at it, some of those cuts, especially in Medicare and Medicaid programs, as well as for education, could impact our state budget severely. Lowering federal responsibilities by hiking state or local budgets is a deceptive way to achieve deficit reduction."

And the Portsmouth Herald wrote "We are concerned about your priorities and find it hard to understand why you would seemingly sacrifice government aid to the nation's most needy for the sake of building up armed forces that are already the strongest in the world.... There is a trust issue involved here, Mr. President."

German Karaoke Wednesday

2006-02-08T20:23:00.000-05:00

The object of the game is to translate the following song titles into English from the German translation and guess what song it once was. Some are easy. Some provide more of a challenge. Using Altavista's Babelfish, let the games begin.

1. König Of All The World
2. Rollerskate Dünn
3. Buick Stadt-Komplex
4. Vogel In Einem Rahmen
5. Herauf Die Bezahlung Des Teufels
6. Was Ich Nicht Tun Würde
7. Frage
8. Bin Ich Zu Spät
9. Leicht
10. Kann Nicht Eine Linie Erhalten
11. Designs Auf Ihnen
12. Buch Der Gedichte
13. Nervöser Kerl

* This Week's Hint: These are all songs on a CD from one of Flamingo Jones' favorite bands of all times. I'm trying to cheer her up a little.

First Ever Zac Attack Outing

2006-02-07T22:06:00.000-05:00

If you're thinking about going, contact me. I may be going too!

Let's take back this country from those filthy non-Christians! Yeah! I long for the day when the President of the United States and a majority of Congressmen, Senators, Governors and Supreme Court Justices are Christian. Yeah! Yaaaaargh!

Dear Zac,

As the president of Vision America, I’d like to extend a personal invitation to you to attend our March 27-28 conference, The War On Christians And The Values Voter in 2006, -- March 27-28 at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Washington, DC.

Christians are under constant assault from the news media, Hollywood, judges and groups like the ACLU. With each passing year with each passing day this campaign of lies and slander intensifies.

We must fight back. I urge you to attend this vital conference The War On Christians And The Values Voter in 2006. We need to educate ourselves and educate the public. Then we need to mobilize and activate Christian America for the struggle ahead.

Click here for conference details and online registration. This is a conference you can’t afford to miss.

By registering today, you’ll qualify for the conference’s early registration fee. I’ll also send you an autographed copy of my book, “Enough Is Enough” a guide to Christian political activism.

I look forward to seeing you at The War on Christians And The Values Voter In 2006 conference.

Sincerely,

Rick Scarborough
President
Vision America

A fringe whacko group? Perhaps. But their scheduled speaker list includes Senator Sam Brownback, Senator John Cornyn, Congressman Tom DeLay, Congressman Todd Akin, Congressman Louis Gohmert, Rod Parsley, Gary Bauer, Janet Parshall, Alan Keyes, Rick Scarborough, Ron Luce, Phyllis Schlafly and Dr. Laurence White, with a panel discussion entitled, "The Gay Agenda: America Won’t Be Happy." I'll see you there!

Random Information

2006-02-07T16:31:00.000-05:00

Now here's a shocker: Karl Rove is a dick.

And in the never-ending feud between New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof and TV/radio talkster Bill O'Reilly, Kristof stepped up his efforts yesterday to have O'Reilly put some action where his mouth is by seeking donations to send his colleague to Africa to see firsthand "the hundreds of thousands of rapes, murders and mutilations in Darfur." Emails can be sent to sponsorbill@gmail.com with information on how much you are willing to give to send O'Reilly away.

Feeling Good

2006-02-06T20:32:00.000-05:00

There's nothing quite like some retail therapy to beat back a bad case of the Mondays. My sister and I went to the mall earlier this afternoon where I bought a great pair of jeans that make me look absolutely fabulous. All smugness aside, I don't usually like buying clothes because nothing ever fits right and I feel like an idiot. But these jeans are perfect.

I also picked up three new pairs of boxers and a bottle of new cologne. You can't really go wrong with undergarments. And I wasn't too keen on the cologne at first but my sister sprayed some on my arm and we continued shopping for about a half hour. In that time the fragrance combined and mixed with my natural body scent and they created this wonderful, aromatic fragrance that was -- and still is -- making me very happy.

Add a nice shirt from my closet and a cute guy and I gots me-self one hell of a date tomorrow evening! I can't wait. Smokin'.

Troy, Troy

2006-02-06T14:09:00.000-05:00

Hey, it was true in the playoffs. I'm not sure what happened last night.

Friday Random 10, et al.

2006-02-06T11:46:00.000-05:00

First and foremost, the Steelers freaking rock.

Second, I have a sinus infection and I just worked 35 hours this weekend at my "second" job. The manager was out of town on a family emergency so I was left as a backup of sorts. I'm sick and I'm tired and I'm ready to sleep the rest of this week.

Third, I got some bad family news yesterday while at work, two hours before kick-off. Not cool, but it was for the best. Maybe I'll get into that later.

Fourth, I'm going to try to post more regularly again. My computer has ad/malware on it that I just can't get rid of and they end my Internet experience rather abruptly. I get pissed off at my computer, want to throw it across the room, and usually just shut it down and walk away.

Fifth: It's Friday. (Imagine.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Intergalactic (Beastie Boys, Hello Nasty)
2. In the Light (dcTalk, Welcome...)
3. Lives of Crime (Fruit Bats, Spelled in Bones)
4. Chinese Children (Devendra Banhart, Mix CD)
5. You Were Meant for Me (Jewel, Pieces of You)
6. Martyr (Rusted Root, When I Woke)
7. Will I (Aaron Lohr, Rent Soundtrack)
8. Ohio (CSNY, So Far)
9. Tiny Dancer (Elton John, Greatest Hits)
10. When I Come Around (Green Day, Dookie)

Sixth, Tiny Dancer is awesome to sing along with when you change the words to Tony Danza.

Pahlahmahlu

2006-02-02T18:46:00.000-05:00

So yeah, I got a haircut today. I think I look good, but with as little hair as I have already it's hard to get a bad haircut. But yeah, I'm looking damned good.

In other news, I think I'm coming down with a sinus infection. I was around two known-cases of sinus infection all day today so chances are fairly good that I'm right. I hope I'm not, but I may.

In other, other news, it's Groundhog Day. Among other things.

Oh yeah, for you Steeler fans out there -- or at least fans of silly music -- I highly suggest downloading and listening to the Polamalu Song. For information on who he is exactly, check here. You can't listen to the radio without hearing it at least once every fifteen minutes here around Pittsburgh. And it's freaking catchy, so you're humming it in between listenings. Damn Muppets.

No Rest for the Weary

2006-01-30T16:37:00.000-05:00

I'm tired and kinda cranky today, so I don't know what to write about this afternoon. Maybe I'll have more to say later this evening.

Granted, I had a pretty fun night Saturday but, although I woke up close to noon, I woke up still dead-tired. I went to bed last night at a fairly decent hour and woke up this morning dead-tired as well. I don't know what it is. I fall asleep just fine, and I sleep straight through the night. But I can't seem to get a restful night's sleep. Maybe tonight will be different.

Zachary with no sleep is not a pretty sight. And it didn't help that I had a four year old girl flirting with me at work. No, not fourteen, not forty. Four. It's a long story and it was incredibly awkward. Ugh.

Polls, Polls, Everywhere

2006-01-29T16:26:00.000-05:00

Polling numbers always get a warm reception here on this blog, but I like them. They give, far and wide, a general idea of the feelings and worries of the American people. Representative David Dreier, the California Republican who is chairman of the House Rules Committee, said recently, "People look at public opinion polls, and members of Congress are no exception." What's good for the members of Congress is surely good enough for me!

Bush's bottom-line job rating, according to the most recent ABC News/Washington Post poll, -- 42 percent of Americans approve of his work, 56 percent disapprove -- is the worst for a president entering his sixth year in office since Watergate hammered Richard Nixon. The bad news doesn't end there.

On Iraq, 55 percent say the war was not worth fighting and 60 percent disapprove of how Bush is handling it. On the deficit, 64 percent disapprove of his work; on health care 60 percent; on immigration 57 percent; on ethics 56 percent. Six in 10 say the economy's hurting. Six in 10 don't think Bush understands their problems. Fifty-three percent don't see him as honest and trustworthy.

The Democrats lead Republicans by 14 points, 51 to 37 percent, in trust to handle the nation's main problems, the first Democratic majority on this question since 1992. And the Democrats hold a 16-point lead in 2006 congressional election preferences, 54 to 38 percent among registered voters, their best since 1984. Independents prefer the Democrats' direction over Bush's by 51 to 27 percent, and favor the Democrat over the Republican in congressional races by 54 to 31 percent (the latter result is among independents who're registered to vote.). Democrats also lead by 16 points as the party with "better ideas." And they've held or improved their advantage over the Republicans in public trust to handle issues as disparate as the economy (now an 18-point Democratic lead), Iraq and lobbying reform.

The recent Bloomberg/Los Angeles Times poll shows that three out of five Americans say America is seriously off course, and by 62 to 31 percent those surveyed want to move in a different direction than the one Bush has set forth. The ABC/WaPo poll shows Americans -- by a 16-point margin, 51 to 35 percent -- now say specifically that the country should go in the direction in which the Democrats want to lead, rather than follow Bush. That's a 10-point drop for the president from a year ago, and the Democrats' first head-to-head majority of his presidency.

According to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll, investigations into Congressional corruption are taking a toll as the elections approach: 61 percent of Americans now hold an unfavorable view of Congress, the highest in 10 years.

The ABC/WaPo poll also found that 76 percent of Americans said Bush should release lists of all meetings between aides and Abramoff. It's an overwhelming sentiment being mimicked by Republican lawmakers, as well.

There's a lot of time between now and November. But if this trend keeps up, Democrats may just get a silver-lining at the end of this disasterous and embarrassing storm. Whether or not they deserve it is a point for another post, but they may just get it.

Karaoke Fun

2006-01-29T13:29:00.000-05:00

Wow. Last night was fun.

I went to a bar with a large group of friends where I got just drunk enough to sing karaoke. And I must admit, I was damned good. I was good not really because I can sing (I can't) or because I have an awesome range (I do not). I was good because I chose really great songs and belted them out like a champ.

Where else can my gift of knowing all the words to Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot be put to better use than a bar on karaoke night? Seriously now. I even got some high-fives as I made my way back to my seat. Good times!

Then, as the night continued and more drinks were drunk, I did an encore. Yes, this homebody followed up Baby Got Back with Kiss by Prince. Among my friends, it's my signature piece and I believe I did it justice.

And then just as we were leaving, some guy came up to my friend Lauren and told her that while I might be the whitest guy in the bar, he had never heard anyone sing Baby Got Back with such feeling before. Needless to say, I woke up very happy this morning. Well, noonish.

Branching Out

2006-01-27T17:20:00.001-05:00

With the exception of the joking New Year resolution back a few weeks ago, I never posted what I want to change with myself and my life for the new year. Truth be told, I never really gave it much thought. I've never been one for New Year resolutions. There's that awful stigma attached to them because so many millions make them and so many millions break them each year. Why would I want to be one of them? Why would I set myself up for failure.

You're reading a post from the guy who can't even keep himself straight during Lent. No pun intended. Granted, I'm not Catholic so my Lent experience isn't as rigorous, although I do love fish and take any chance I get to partake in the Friday night fish fries around my area. But the first and only time I ever seriously gave up anything for Lent was in high school when I gave up red meat after watching a documentary on a slaughterhouse. I didn't eat a big, fat steak until three years later.

But this year is a bit different. I knew I couldn't be like Ruben and give up my coffee in the morning. That takes bigger cajones than I've got. I needed something that I could stick to. Something that -- at the end of the year -- I will have been made a better person because of it. I think I found it.

I want to be better-versed in different kinds of music. Anyone who reads my random ten songs every week have some glimpse into my music taste. While it's diverse, it's by no means far-reaching. I know very little about jazz, about the blues, about R&B, about many things classical. I know what I like and I listen to what I like over and over again. I rarely ever listen to the radio or watch any of the music channels so it's as if I live in my little bubble where I'm content. Correction: I was content.

This year of Mozart's 250th birthday, we should all look at hundreds, if not thousands, of songs we're missing just because we don't think we'd like them. I learned very quickly the past few months that previous thoughts were disappointing misconceptions. If you have any suggestions on songs or albums to download, please let me know.

Friday Random 10

2006-01-27T13:13:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. (Yay!) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Basket Case (Green Day, Dookie)
2. My Doorbell (White Stripes, Get Behind Me Satan)
3. Blow Out (Radiohead, Pablo Honey)
4. Babylon (David Gray, White Ladder)
5. Born Too Late (The Clarks, Let It Go)
6. Teach Your Children (CSNY, So Far)
7. Can't Get You Outta My Head (Kylie Minogue, Fever)
8. Patience (Guns N Roses, Lies)
9. Always Be My Baby (Mariah Carey, Daydream)
10. Rock Your Body (Justin Timberlake, Justified)

Sillies

2006-01-26T11:40:00.000-05:00

Out of the wreckage that is the recent Hamas victory of the ruling, moderate Fatah Party, I believe that Americans can learn an important lesson. No matter how much you dislike each other, throwing stones at one another makes both of you look like noobs.

The two camps threw stones at each other, breaking windows in the building, as Fatah supporters briefly tried to lower the green Hamas banners.

Boom Boom Goes the Man

2006-01-26T11:30:00.000-05:00

The first great he said, she said of the new year. In one corner, we have an unreleased study conducted for the Pentagon and a top U.S. general in Iraq. In the other corner we have, well -- Donald Rumsfeld.

Andrew Krepinevich, a retired Army officer who wrote the report under a Pentagon contract, concluded that the Army cannot sustain the pace of troop deployments to Iraq long enough to break the back of the insurgency. He also suggested that the Pentagon's decision, announced in December, to begin reducing the force in Iraq this year was driven in part by a realization that the Army was overextended. Gen. George Casey told reporters on Thursday that American forces in this country are "stretched."

Donald Rumsfeld says nuh-uh.

Patriot Rick

2006-01-25T17:17:00.000-05:00

In Pennsylvania we have a state-wide equivalent of the village idiot. His name is Rick Santorum. Among his more annoying attributes is his uncanny ability to say things so incredibly off-the-wall that they don't usually warrant a response. So instead of responding to his recent idiotic turn of phrase, I will simply republish what he said.

Santorum: "And yet we have brave men and women who are willing to step forward because they know what's at stake. They're willing to sacrifice their lives for this great country. What I'm asking all of you tonight is not to put on a uniform. Put on a bumper sticker. Is it that much to ask? Is it that much to ask to step up and serve your country?"

It should be said, however, that he is not talking about the ubiquitous Support Our Troops yellow ribbon bumper stickers. He's talking about Rick Santorum bumper stickers.. for his reelection campaign.

Bring It On Home

2006-01-24T16:00:00.000-05:00

Now that Canada has ousted its former government and put in place a more conservative* one, I suggest to the new Prime Minister Stephen Harper that he create a new government agency in charge of redefining what it is to be Canadian. Jokes about Canadians run as wild and carefree in America as Republicans on lobbyist-paid vacations. This new Department of Coolness, Eh? can spruce up public relations and bring our two countries closer together, dispelling misconceptions and stereotypes. I nominate Sue Johanson to head the agency.

* Prime Minister-elect Stephen Harper "said his new government -- not likely to be sworn in for several weeks -- would immediately ... begin to allocate $1,042 to Canadian families for each child they have needing daycare." How conservative?

Dear Jesus

2006-01-24T15:49:00.000-05:00

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Kanye West be thy name.

Send in the Clowns

2006-01-23T22:27:00.000-05:00

NBC is in the crapper, so what does it do? It brings back Friends, of course! A cool $5 million a piece sure doesn't seem too much to shell out when your ratings future is on the line.

Huzzah!

2006-01-22T18:30:00.000-05:00

PITTSBURGH's
Going to the Super Bowl

Thoughts on Wiretapping

2006-01-21T15:47:00.000-05:00

I love reading letters. Be it letters from friends, letters to the editor in the local newspaper, or letters in support of or against certain articles in my magazine subscriptions, they're always the first thing I read. Last night after an undrinking night at the bar with some friends, I meandered home and hung out until I felt like sleeping. Granted, it was three o'clock in the morning and by all accounts I had a long day and should be exhausted, but I just wasn't all that tired.

I opened up the current issue of Newsweek (mmm, Bode Miller!) and started reading what people had to say about last week's piece on presidential powers and the abuse that can come with it. A few readers attempted to justify the president's assertion that desperate times call for desperate measures and that we are, in fact, in a state of war. Angela Hobson of Newport News, VA writes,

I applaud the proactive nature of our president. If my neighbors or coworkers are calling or receiving international calls from al Qaeda or other groups that want to harm us, I endorse our government's efforts to protect us in the manner it chooses.

I can relate with Ms. Hobson's feelings. Sure, who couldn't? We all want to be safe and it is human nature to want to feel security in troubling times. After 9/11 President Bush stood on top of the rubble, took out his bullhorn, and told the world that Americans are united and that people hell-bent on destroying us will falter. His words of comfort and resolve were exactly what the doctor ordered; Bush's approval rating went through the roof and Americans were brought together.

In sharp contrast, after Hurrican Katrina there was no such words of comfort. Neither the president nor the governor of Louisiana showed up anywhere near the wreckage -- at least from what I saw from the media -- and comforted the masses. I don't mean to say that there wasn't a great outpouring of volunteerism, prayer and monetary support, but the great command structure of post-9/11 New York City was missing where it could have been found. Instead, we saw a president and a governor pointing fingers.

Americans like to feel like someone is in charge, someone is watching out over them. Unfortunately, believing that by listening to telephone conversations the federal government is able to keep us safe is majorly wrong. Not only is it, by the very definition of the word, an infringment of civil liberties by undermining the Constitution of the United States -- no matter how good the intention -- but the rationale given by the president as to how it works makes no sense. Erik Moeser of Menomonkee Falls, WIS says,

In several recent speeches, George W. Bush has tried valiantly to convince us that he should have the power, without a warrant, to wiretap (spy on) persons with "known links" to al Qaeda. The part I don't get is, if they are actually "known," why doesn't he also just go and round them up?

Another problem I have with Ms. Hobson's assertion of governmental supremecy is that it goes against the American concept of having the benefit of the doubt. Americans are innocent until proven guilty. A wiretap on any given American -- without any court order or supervision -- is expressly against this basic tenet of the very democracy we are exporting to the Middle East. James M. DeMast feels the same way, writing,

Isn't life full of irony? President Bush implored that we not cede to the terrorists, that we were not to change our way of life and what we stand for. Since that time, however, we have attacked a sovereign nation unprovoked (a first in our history), kidnapped individuals in foreign countries and transported them to secret bases, tortured prisoners and spied on American citizens.

That these charges of an imperial presidency are directed toward a conservative administration is rather morbidly funny. Out the window goes the mantra of "smaller government" even as several historically small-government, anti-tax groups provide undying, blindly loyal support and praise to the largest federal government in the nation's history. Dan Thompson of Union, ORE asks of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney, "...would you support the same powers and secrecy that you claim are legitimate for you if your opposition controlled the levers of government as you and your party now do?" The answer is, of course, no. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wildly mistaken.

And one last problem I have with Ms. Hobson's letter: When/where will it end? We are stuck in the War in Iraq and forever surrounded by the War on Terror. The basic problem with each of these wars is that there is no clear cut way to know they've ended. The latter even more so than the former, there is no guideline to say, "Hey, war is over. Happy Christmas."

I've said before that the War in Iraq feels so overwhelming to Americans because there's nothing to use as a reference point. Tomorrow my Steelers are playing the Broncos so I'll use football to show my point. Each time the team takes the field, they make a drive to the end zone. Four plays, lots of tackles, many setbacks, fewer gains, but what the end result looks like is always the same. People watching football, even the football players themselves, know when they're nearing the goal. The same can't be said for either of these wars. In fact, is the War in Afghanistan over? How do we know?

For the sake of argument, let's say the Wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are over. What about the War on Terror? Terror, by its defition, means "Violence committed or threatened by a group to intimidate or coerce a population, as for military or political purposes." But what does that mean? It's all about perspective. It's like asking, as Flamingo Jones did a few weeks ago, What is Justice? Its definition is different to everyone, just as the definition of terror or even terrorism is different to everyone. What's terrorism to one person is nation-building on the other side of the world. What's terrorism to one person is a psychotic attempt to spread hatred around the world to another. I don't wish to touch upon the reasons for invading Iraq or even the moral aspects but would rather want to guage where we are now.

There has always been terror in the world and there will always be terror in the world. No amount of military might, diplomatic savvy or sheer luck is going to destroy it. We're kidding ourselves and setting ourselves up for failure when we don't acheive it. Instead, we should be looking at alternatives to combatting this new evil from the way we've thought in the past. The post-9/11 world demands new innovations. Until we take that seriously, when do we know the war is over? And if the war is never over, when do we know it's time to reclaim our civil liberties?

Friday Random 10

2006-01-19T21:40:00.000-05:00

Because I have kickass taste in music, I decided to do my random ten tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow and to post fifteen random songs instead of the standard ten. I'm kicking it up a notch. I can change flat tires and I have excellent taste in music. I don't work tomorrow and so it's the freaking weekend, bitches. Hell yeah.

It's Friday. (Just go with it.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Whiskey Lullaby (Brad Paisley, Mud on the Tires)
2. Seven Nation Army (White Stripes, Elephant)
3. Chariot (Gavin DeGraw, Chariot -- Stripped)
4. Til I Hear It From You (Gin Blossoms, Empire Records soundtrack)
5. Sweet Girl (Fleetwood Mac, The Dance)
6. She Really Wants You (Aimee Mann, The Forgotten Arm acoustic)
7. Could We (Cat Power, The Greatest)
8. Canadian Song (Matt Pond PA, The Green Fury)
9. Somebody Told Me (The Killers, Hot Fuss)
10. Not the Doctor (Alania Morissette, Jagged Little Pill)
11. Sex and Candy (Marcy Playground, Marcy Playground)
12. Waitin' for a Superman (Iron & Wine, Yeti)
13. The Way You Move (Big Boi, Speakerboxxx)
14. School's Out (Alice Cooper, Dazed & Confused soundtrack)
15. Addicted (Simple Plan, No Pads, No Helmuts, Just Balls)

How Telling

2006-01-19T20:45:00.000-05:00

This is the President being among the people.

Literary

2006-01-19T15:58:00.000-05:00

The Senate may be the place for some former first ladies, but President Bush on Thursday categorically ruled out a run for office by his wife, Laura Bush.

"She's not interested in running for office. She's interested in literacy," Bush said during an appearance at JK Moving & Storage here.

And sooner or later she'll succeed in teaching him how to read like all the other boys and girls! Hey, there've been forty-three presidents and the United States' literacy rate is 97 percent. You do the math. I'm just saying.

Changing of the Tires

2006-01-18T21:56:00.000-05:00

Today I did the unthinkable. Today I did what no man should ever have to do. Today I proved myself worthy of all that I possess.

Today I changed a flat tire. No, not just any flat tire -- my own flat tire. Being the only one home, I had to pick my sister up from a friend's house in town. I was approximately a half-mile away when I felt the car starting to drift to the left and heard it make a funny "klump-klump" sound. Never having had a flat tire before, I didn't have any sort of experience to determine exactly what the problem could be but I did have the frame of mind to pull over and not risk anything. I had a tiny inkling that it was a flat tire -- using my deductive reasoning -- so I immediately had terrifying images of sparks spraying from the tire-rim into my gas tank and the fireworks that would ensue.

I parked the car in the nearest parking lot. It was the front, driver's-side tire. Being a man and all, I called my parents but nobody answered. I then tried my other sister. She didn't answer. I was all alone in the average-sized town of [blacked out for security purposes] without help or a clue.

Okay, I probably should explain now that today was cold. No, not just kinda cold. It was damned cold. Ten degrees and dropping is not cool, nor is wind so chilling and violent that you feel nauseous in your stomach.

I ended up getting in contact with my father, who did come to my rescue. Of course, by the time this rescue happened, I had already opened the truck, got the car-jack out, soiled myself (with the gunk used to lubricate said car-jack), jacked up the car, removed the hubcap, loosened the lug nuts, removed the deflated tire and lifted the spare donut from the trunk. Not bad for someone who never paid attention in Highway Safety class. (Two speeding tickets later.. but none in the past three years! [Knock on wood.])

So tonight I'm a man. I'm a man's man who knows that when the going gets tough, the tough call for help and then do their best until it arrives!

Polling Around Town

2006-01-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

Just in case you believe in polling data and all that jazz, you could very well be shocked to find out that in a recent poll of 560 registered voters conducted for the Houston Chronicle, barely one of every five of former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's constituents would vote for him if the election were held now. In fact, Democratic rival and former congressman Nick Lampson's number is eight percentage points higher than DeLay's. But you can make of it what you will.

Vampires Run Too

2006-01-15T21:45:00.000-05:00

If you live in Minnesota you may be looking at your next governor. From the state that brought us the governorship of Jesse "The Body" Ventura, we now have Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party. Sharkey, a self-proclaimed vampire, planned to announce his candidacy on Friday -- the 13th.

Of his religion, Sharkey told Reuters, "I'm a satanist who doesn't hate Jesus. I just hate God the Father." He went on to pledge in the interview to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol. It sounds like a winning platform to me.

Happy New Year

2006-01-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

...or something like that. According to Eastern Orthodoxy and the Julian calendar today marks the beginning of a new year.

Also according to Eastern Orthodoxy, today is the day of St. Basil the Great and the lesser known, slightly miffed Sts. Parsley the Lesser, Sage the Better, Rosemary the Faint-Hearted and Thyme the Chicken Herb.

Flashbacks

2006-01-14T15:11:00.000-05:00

Today in History

Today in 1514 Pope Leo X issues a papal bull against slavery. In 1690 the clarinet is invented in Nuremberg, Germany. Its cousin, the skin flute, had been played for decades prior. In 1943 Franklin D. Roosevelt becomes the first President of the United States to travel via airplane while in office (Miami, Florida to Morocco to meet with Winston Churchill to discuss World War II). And in 2000 the Dow Jones Industrial Average reached a record high of 11,722.98.

Today is Jason Bateman's birthday (37) -- may God watch over his television show. LL Cool J is 38 today. Shepard Smith is 42.

Five Things

2006-01-14T12:12:00.000-05:00

... I Learned from Hostel

1. Softcore porn can be nationally screened without much backlash.
2. Saying "fag" over and over doesn't lessen its disgustingness.
3. If someone drops a business card in a public toilet stall, don't pick it up.
4. Bitches always get their comeuppance.
5. Jay Hernandez is very sexy, and his lips are distracting.

Friday Random 10

2006-01-13T18:19:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. (It really, really is!) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. We Can Work It Out (Heather Nova, I Am Sam soundtrack)
2. Trains (Ryan Adams, Jacksonville City Lights)
3. Lovefool (The Cadigans, First Band on the Moon)
4. Singular Girl (Rhett, The Believer)
5. You Only Live Once (The Strokes, Mix CD)
6. I Don't Want To Wait (Paula Cole, This Fire)
7. Clumsy (Our Lady Peace, Clumsy)
8. Such Great Heights (The Postal Service, Give Up)
9. Give It Away (Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blood Sugar Sex Magik)
10. Life is a Song (Patrick Park, Mix CD)

Flashbacks

2006-01-13T17:30:00.000-05:00

Today in History

Today in 1559 Elizabeth I is crowned queen of England in Westminster Abbey. In 1930 the Mickey Mouse comic strip makes its first appearance. And in 2002, US President George W. Bush faints after choking on a pretzel.

Rip Taylor is 72 today, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is 45 and Orlando Bloom is 29.

Oh, and for the Ultimate dorks out there, Wham-O Company produced the first Frisbee today in 1955.

All In a Day's Work

2006-01-13T14:21:00.000-05:00

"And if you talk outta line again, I'll show you my other gun, bitch."

Silly Patty

2006-01-12T18:02:00.000-05:00

Last year on August 22, Pat Robertson called for the assassination of Venezualan president Hugo Chavez and was later shunned into apologizing for his numb-skull rant. Then this year on the fifth, he blamed Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke on his policy of "dividing God's land" and was later shunned into apologizing. When will he learn that he's an idiot?

When The Conservative Voice starts calling for your retirement, you know you've outstayed your welcome. Good night, Mr. Robertson.

Update: Israel to Robertson: Get Bent

Flashbacks

2006-01-12T17:04:00.000-05:00

Today in History

Today in 1915 the United States House of Representatives rejects a proposal to give women the right to vote. In 1932 Hattie W. Caraway becomes the first woman elected to the United States Senate. She was, of course, a Democrat. There are currently fourteen women senators in the 109th Congress; nine are Democrat. And women are allowed to vote.

In 1966 Batman the TV series debuts on ABC, and in 1971 All in the Family debuts on CBS.

Kirstie Alley and Rush Limbaugh are 55 today, Howard Stern is 52 and Rob Zombie is 40. And now you're up to date.

Down Home

2006-01-06T00:10:00.000-05:00

Pennsylvania in 2006 is the place to be! We have Bob Casey going head-to-head with putz Rick Santorum and Gov. Ed Rendell going head-to-head with.. former Steelers star Lynn Swann? This should be interesting. He'd be the first black governor of Pennsylvania. And I can't imagine too many Republican governors' wives gave money to the Democrat presidential candidate the year before.

Divine Intervention

2006-01-05T23:35:00.000-05:00

Did you know that God caused Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's massive and debilitating stroke for Sharon's insistence on "dividing God's land"? Neither did I! Then He tiptoed over the Pacific and rained on the Rose Bowl parade for the first time in fifty years for Hollywood's blatant motley crew of gay cowboys, effeminate leading men and liberal hosts.

Then, being the ironically funny God of the Old Testament, He allowed an executive committee member of the Southern Baptist Convention to be arrested on a lewdness charge for propositioning a plainclothes policeman outside a hotel.

Lonnie Latham, senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church, was booked into Oklahoma County Jail Tuesday night on a misdemeanor charge of offering to engage in an act of lewdness, police Capt. Jeffrey Becker said. Latham was released on $500 bail Wednesday afternoon. Latham, who has spoken out against homosexuality, asked the officer to join him in his hotel room for oral sex.

This is what happens when same-sex unions exist in Belgium, Canada, Croatia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Iceland, Israel, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Slovenia, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland and the United Kingdom. And, of course, Massachusetts. You can't say the fundies didn't warn us.

Whole Lotta Ranting

2006-01-05T22:41:00.000-05:00

Giving money to a charity is a good thing. Taking money for political favors is a bad thing. So does that make donating to a charity money taken for political favors an ambivalent thing? Does 1 + (-1) = 0?

This week after Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff pleaded guilty to three felony counts of conspiracy and wire fraud, politicians in Washington started to distance themselves from the radioactive man in a fedora by donating their dirty money to charities or even just giving the money back. President Bush ($6,000), former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay ($57,000) and his successor Roy Blunt ($8,500) on Wednesday joined the list of officials shedding political donations. Speaker J. Dennis Hastert of Illinois announced that he would donate to charity $69,000 in campaign contributions directed to him by Mr. Abramoff.

(It should be noted that although Abramoff shored up more than $100,000 for the Bush-Cheney reelection campaign, making him an honorary Bush "Pioneer," the Bush administration is only returning a meager six percent of it to the American Heart Association.)

This by no means is contained to only one side of the aisle. Three Democrats -- Sens. Max Baucus (Mont.), Richard J. Durbin (Ill.) and Byron L. Dorgan (N.D.) -- have pledged to shed a total of $97,000 in contributions, while Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid has rebuked any suggestion of parting with the $47,000 acquired with the help of Abramoff.

Back to my original question, though: Is this atonement of sorts righting the wrong that has occured? Is the donation of dirty money to a good cause a cleansing of politics or is it a smokescreen intended to cover the truth that they would've kept it had no one noticed?

Is this coming clean or getting caught? Everyone knows Abramoff was bad news. He has been bad news since he came into the political scene. That he got donations for a few Democrats as well as Republicans makes no bit of difference. Someone somewhere should've had the conscience to either decline the dirty money or give the money away before the man plead guilty to fraud. But I have heard of no such person. Some $5.3 million found its way from Abramoff, his lobbying colleagues and tribal clients to 364 federal candidates and campaign committees from 1999 to 2004, about 64 percent of that money going to Republicans.

Do I hope that this case is a catalyst to a great cleansing of Congress? Of course. But I do not care what percentages of each side it comes from. Well, I do but I don't.

If we're going to export our form of government to the world as the end-all greatest thing since sliced bread, shouldn't we give at least the appearance of believing the ideals of ethics and everything else democracy stands for? Tom DeLay once said, and hopefully believed:

The time has come that the American people know exactly what their Representatives are doing here in Washington. Are they feeding at the public trough, taking lobbyist-paid vacations, getting wined and dined by special interest groups? Or are they working hard to represent their constituents? The people, the American people, have a right to know.

Well, do they really?

With the indictment of former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay on money-laundering charges, there is also the guilty plea by Rep. Duke Cunningham, R-Del Mar (San Diego County), on bribery charges. Rep. Jerry Lewis, R-Redlands (San Bernardino County), was exposed for using his powerful positions on the House Appropriations Committee to lavish taxpayer-funded contracts on lobbying clients of his close friend, lobbyist and former California Rep. Bill Lowery. Two more California congressmen, Rep. John Doolittle, R-Rocklin (Placer County), and Richard Pombo, R-Tracy, were implicated in the Abramoff scandal, having taken large campaign contributions from Abramoff's clients.

What does it all mean? I don't know. It's overwhelming and disgusting. And I hope change is on its way.

2005: The Farce of Freedom?

2006-01-05T12:22:00.000-05:00

An excellent expose by Radley Balko. Neoconmen suck.

Six Degrees or Fewer

2006-01-03T18:45:00.000-05:00

Well it's a small world after all! I didn't realize when I wrote my post on the Texas governor race that Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn's son is President Bush's inept press secretary Scott McClellan. Very interesting, indeed.