Friday, February 24, 2006

Of Movies and Television Shows

It's my day off so the biggest dilemma I'm facing today is whether tonight I should see Brokeback Mountain for the second time or to see Munich for the first. I really enjoyed Brokeback Mountain, and wouldn't necessarily have a problem watching it again, but it's so damned depressing. I'm feeling glum just thinking about it. So I don't know.

On the kickass side of things, three of the movies that should be arriving in my mailbox tomorrow from Netflix are: Battlestar Galactica Season 1: Disc Five, Battlestar Galactica Season 2.0: Disc One, and Count Duckula Season 1: Disc One. Do you remember Count Duckula? I haven't seen the show in at least ten years so I'm kinda hoping it's as good as I remember.

A friend of mine got Duck Tales Season 1 from his girlfriend for Valentine's Day and I'm happy to report it's still as wonderful as ever. In elementary school I would run home from the bus stop just in time to sing along with the theme song. Good times.

And, by coincidence, today's Edward James Olmos' birthday. He's 59.

Friday's Random 10

It's Friday. (Rhymes with Pieday!) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Helpless (CSNY, So Far)
2. Landslide (Fleetwood Mac, The Dance)
3. Not Much Left (Jay Nash, Some Kind of Comfort)
4. Buffalo Nickel (Bela Fleck, Bluegrass Sessions)
5. 4am (Our Lady Peace, Clumsy)
6. Tangled Up in Blue (Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks)
7. Part-Time Lover (Stevie Wonder, Definitive Collection)
8. Girls (The Beastie Boys, Licensed to Ill)
9. Different Drum (Linda Ronstadt, Very Best)
10. Teenage Dirtbag (Wheatus, Wheatus)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

In These Times

One of those silly forwards.

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. One day he decided that he would love to plant potatoes and herbs in his garden, but he knew he was alone and too old and weak. His son was in college in Paris, so the old man sent him an e-mail explaining the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, that you would help me and dig up the garden for me. I love you, your father."

The following day, the old man received a response e-mail from his son:

"Beloved father, please don't touch the garden. That is where I have hidden 'the THING.' I love you, too, Ahmed."

At 4pm the FBI and the Rangers visited the house of the old man and took the whole garden apart, searching every inch. But they couldn't find anything. Disappointed, they left the house. The next day, the old man received another e-mail from his son:

"Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That is all I could do for you from here. Your loving son, Ahmed."

Good vs. Evil

Bad News: At least 112 people have died in Iraq by sectarian violence since the bombing of a Shiite shrine yesterday.

Good News: Cadbury Creme Eggs are in stores for the holiday.

Bad News: Kid Rock not only made a sex tape, but people have it and are threatening to release it.

Good News: President Bush today assured a wary public that there's nothing to be alarmed about a government with terrorist connections running highly sensitive port transactions on American soil. "The more people learn about the transaction that has been scrutinized and approved by my government," Bush said, "the more they'll be comforted that our ports will be secure."

Bad News: Did he just say "my government"?

Bad News for Bush: DeLay is now calling him an idiot.

Good News for Bush: Only 1061 days until he quietly retires.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Nincompoopery

I must be running a fever because I'm starting to see some sense -- lo, as little as possible -- in the writings and rantings of conservative authors. Don't get me wrong, I think the conservative movement is currently being run by oblivious nincompoops with re-election rather than sound policy on their minds. But there's a part of me that respects certain tenets of the conservative movement. First there was a small part of what Pattie B wrote, and now this. I shudder at the thought.

By no means do I wish to associate Ann Coulter with anything right in conservative thought, but I had the unwelcome opportunity to read her recent column without realizing who had written it until the very end. Most of it, as always, is rubbish. It's more pandering to the far-right than speaking of anything of substance. But the manchild did bring up a very good point. And before I run out for dinner with a friend, I wanted to post on it and see what everyone thinks.

The woman with the adam's apple writes,
Muslims in Syria torched the Danish Embassy a few weeks ago, burning it to the ground. According to everyone, the Syrian government was behind the attack -- the prime minister of Denmark, Condoleezza Rice and White House spokesman Scott McClellan. I think even the gals on "The View" have acknowledged that Damascus was behind this one.

McClellan said: "We will hold Syria responsible for such violent demonstrations since they do not take place in that country without government knowledge and support."

We are signatories to a treaty that requires us to do more than "hold Syria responsible" for this attack. Syria has staged a state-sponsored attack on our NATO partner on Danish soil, the Danish embassy. According to the terms of the NATO treaty, the United States and most of Europe have an obligation to go to war with Syria.
Honest to goodness, why haven't we declared war on Syria? For once, she speaks the truth. She speaks rationally -- at least in this small part of the article. If we are to possess treaties with nations, ought we not abide by the obligations written? Or is this a small part of a bigger picture? See: Geneva Conventions.

Martial Arts Kick-Assness


Since when does Saruman, Willy Wonka's father, Count Dooku and the narrator for the Rocky Horror Picture Show write for the Washington Post. With that voice, he should be reading the news, not writing it.

The Truth


"And these days Bush's challenge, and Cheney's, is not that their enemies hate them, since it has been forever thus; it is that they are increasingly at odds with their friends." -- Time, February 19, 2006.

Update: More unrest.

Update II: It's all making a little more sense. The Bush administration is forcefully defending its decision to allow a country with terrorist ties, the United Arab Emirates, to run key ports around the United States. So much is Bush serious about this decision, he's threatening to veto any bill contrary to his will. Why would the president be so adamant about jeopardizing his beloved country? Perhaps the Inter Press Service can shine some light on the subject.
The United States' trade relationship with the UAE is the third largest in the Middle East, after Israel and Saudi Arabia. The two nations are engaged in bilateral free talks that would liberalise trade between the two countries and would, in theory at least, allow companies to own and operate businesses in both nations. 'There are legitimate security questions to be asked but it would be a mistake and really an insult to one of our leading trading partners in that region to reject this commercial transaction out of hand,' said Daniel T. Griswold, who directs the Center for Trade Policy Studies at the Cato Institute, a Washington-based libertarian think tank.
President Bush is cowtowing to the UAE because he wants an industry-written free-trade agreement to go through without a hitch. The president of the United States, in his infinite wisdom, is putting the interests of the men who put money in the GOP's war-chest above the well-being of the American people.

No Reagan conservative, indeed. The empty threat of a veto is laughable. He threatened to veto legislation barring the CIA from torturing. The President, Congress, and the American people knew he couldn't allow his very first veto in five years to be in favor of torture. He flip-flopped and quickly embraced the legislation. Just like now. The President, Congress, and the American people know he won't allow his first veto in six years to be in favor of turning over the security of our ports to a country with terrorist ties. It's just plain dumb.

Bringing It

About two weeks ago I posted that New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof was asking readers to send him money to finance a trip to Darfur for Bill O'Reilly so that the TV/radio talkster could see first-hand "the hundreds of thousands of rapes, murders and mutilations in Darfur." Editor & Publisher is reporting today that Kristof has raised almost three-quarters of a million dollars. No word on whether O'Reilly will take it.

It's an Uphill Battle

[...] IT'S MOMENTS LIKE THESE, SO TRIVIAL IN some ways yet so memorable in others, that can waste time on the political calendar in ways that are clear only to history. Bush and Cheney have barely over 1,000 days left and things they want to get done. But to succeed, they need to resist as long as possible the forces that make Administrations irrelevant. "Some people in the White House are worried that this will hasten the start of the formal lame-duck period, which they were hoping to put off until after the midterm elections," said a Republican official. "This showed a weakened President and a Vice President in a bubble within a bubble." The minute the November midterms are over, attention will turn even faster than usual to the 2008 presidential and vice-presidential race, because some states are holding their primaries earlier and both nominations are wide open. Bush's approval rating, according to a new TIME poll, is lodged at 40%, Cheney's at 29%. Bush and Cheney have little hope of driving an agenda if they are not in control of it or if they are playing defense. And these days Bush's challenge, and Cheney's, is not that their enemies hate them, since it has been forever thus; it is that they are increasingly at odds with their friends.

-- Time, February 19, 2006

Monday, February 20, 2006

Word of the Day

Tingo, v. to take all the objects one desires from the house of a friend, one at a time, by asking to borrow them.

In Just Six Short Years

Doug Bandow writes in "Republic for Sale" in the latest issue of The American Conservative, "The Cato Institute's David Boaz reports that the number of registered lobbying firms jumped from 1701 to 2060 in the last six years; over the same period, lobbyist spending went up 50 percent, and the number of companies with lobbyists rose 58 percent. The number of lobbyists in the nation’s capital approaches 35,000, double the number in 2000. Even more stunning, the number of firms with DC offices jumped tenfold between 1961 and 1982."

Then he remarks: Jan Witold Baran, former general counsel of the Republican National Committee, observes, "The size of the lobbyist population is proportional to the size of government." Todd Purdum of Vanity Fair notes that the "astounding growth of the lobbying industry ... has tracked the growth of the federal government itself."

Larger government. Bigger deficits. Less safe.
The Republican Legacy.™ Is this where you wanted to be in six years?

Down Wit' the Big G

Pattie B, as he does from time to time, has an interesting piece posted today on Newt Gingrich, Winston Churchill and Hitler. Mr. B hears the persistent drumming of the "War Party" as they prepare for a pre-emptive strike against Iran, and being the proto-isolationist he is, he doesn't like it. Pre-emptive or not -- Newt claims Iranians "have been proactively at war with us since 1979" -- any strike against Iran isn't going to end pretty. Our leaders, if you wish to call them that, are stuck between Iraq and a hard place, and with no forseeable pleasant way out. Read the article for more.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Welcome, Brothers & Sisters

Damn, "the largest gathering of Christian churches in nearly a decade" issued a statement joining the unpatriotic, hippy, pack-up-and-run crowd. Does no one care for the troops anymore?! They're emboldening the enemy! News at 11.
"...God has been enlisted in national agendas that are nothing short of idolatrous."

Friday, February 17, 2006

Friday Random 10

It's Friday. (And cold and rainy.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. I'm Looking Through You (Wallflowers, I Am Sam soundtrack)
2. Lost in a Crowd (Rusted Root, When I Woke)
3. Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani, Love. Angel. Music. Baby.)
4. It Hurts 2 C U Dance So Well (The Pipettes, Demos)
5. Ready, Steady, Go (The Meices, Empire Records soundtrack)
6. Sale (Frances, Frances)
7. Trains (Ryan Adams, Jacksonville City Nights)
8. American Music (Violent Femmes, Add It Up)
9. Pennyroyal Tea (Nirvana, MTV Unplugged)
10. Big Rock Candy Mountain (Harry McClintock, O Brother soundtrack)

What I Wanted to Comment

I wasn't going to say anything because I thought the error was too blatant to warrant a post. But because I am inexplicably unable to comment on Hegemon's blog and none of his faithful readers picked up on it, I'll just have to make my observation here.

In Tom's most recent post, which has been posted for almost a full twenty-four hours, Tom believes he is taking Democrat Harry Reid to task for "calling on Vice President Dick Cheney to hold a press conference to answer questions about his accidental shooting of a fellow hunter in Texas over the weekend." Tom doesn't understand why Cheney would need to do any further explaining after having a little sit-down with Brit Hume.

That would make sense if Reid had asked for the press conference after the interview. Even in the sentence Tom quotes, any reader of his blog can read -- without clicking the link which, by the way, doesn't work -- that Reid asked for the press conference "Wednesday morning." Cheney and Brit had their little pity-party windstorm afternoon at around two pm.

When the hunger to lurch to the right forces you to misrepresent the facts in a news story, you know you're obsessed. Tom, you're better than that.

UPDATE: I failed to mention earlier when I posted this that Harry Reid is not the only congressional member to pressure the White House to get Mr. Cheney to address the incident publicly. Many were from Cheney's own party.

It should also be noted that the Wall Street Journal, hardly a "liberal" member of the press, is starting to point out discrepancies in the veep's story.
The report quotes Mr. Cheney as saying that Mr. Whittington was about 30 yards away from him when he turned in the direction of a flying quail and shot.

That description, though, has become a subject of debate among hunters and experts, who question whether a shot fired at that distance could have penetrated Mr. Whittington's chest wall, as seems to have happened in the accident.

"I found that difficult to believe," says Gary Goodpaster, an official at Ducks Unlimited, a Memphis, Tenn., conservation group. "For that to have happened, the shot had to be much, much closer than 30 yards."

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Mistaking Loyalties

Judge Andrew Collins, a top British judge, told London's High Court today that the United States' idea of what constituted torture was "not the same as ours and doesn't appear to coincide with that of most civilized countries."

The Bush administration's warped sense of right and wrong does not represent my views, nor the views of my friends or family. Torture is torture is torture, and cannot and should not be condoned in any sense of the word. The United States' idea of torture is not solely that of the Bush adminstration. That anyone would mistake that is of the utmost irresponsibility.

The country and the president are two distinct entities. You can love your country and despise the actions of the president. You can publicly disagree with the president and still be patriotic. Some don't understand this concept and equate dissent with disloyalty, but their tricks at demonizing those who disagree with them grow hollow. So Mr. Collins, don't be a horse's ass. Denounce those who deserve it and leave the rest of us alone.

An Iranian Thought

There aren't many things I like about Iran. An Iranian friend of mine -- his parents are American citizens who came to America from Iran -- gets frustrated with me because I confuse the government of Iran with the history and the people of the country. But it's hard not to. This is a country where basic human rights don't exist, a country where homosexuals are murdered for simply being homosexual, men are superior for having a penis and women are inferior for having vaginas. It's a country that takes fundamentalist Islam to holy-fuck territory and a country content on hating whole groups of people just for being alive. It surely can't be a fun place. And to think that they seek nuclear weapons -- even France admitted as much today -- makes the future of the country and the world all the more uncertain.

But what I don't understand is the need for people to act like babies and take their fights into semantics. The whole french fries into freedom fries over so-called anger toward the French made me roll my eyes on more than one occassion. French fries get their name from the way the potatoes are cut, not from the perceived country of origin. But now the Iranians are not eating Danish pastries, but "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad." What purpose does this serve, really?

Just today, a kid at work got really, really angry with me because I made him sit in a chair for timeout and he turned around, looked at me and said with his hands swinging wildly by his head, "I'm never coming back here again! Na na na na na na na na!" Really, dude. Do me a favor and don't. Iran, grow the fuck up. Stop killing people, stop denouncing Israel, stop trying to make nuclear weapons. And for God's sake people of the world, they're french fries.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Working It Out

Following the freak snowstorm this past week that dumped tons and tons of snow on the northeastern United States, my town enjoyed rather nice weather for a change. The thermometer outside of the building where I work registered a balmy 50 degrees this afternoon, and it's supposed to reach 52 degrees tomorrow.

I took the change in weather to get outside this evening. Instead of being trapped inside on a treadmill, I was able to break out! I was able to break free and run far, far far away. Well, really I just drove my ass to the track but I ran a good two miles. I can go more but my lungs aren't used to the damned cold chill in the air.

I got think a lot about life, relationships and music. I was the only peson at the track at nine this evening so I cranked up the volume on my iPod and jammed out like nobody's business. I sang when the feeling hit me. I danced when the groove was oh so sweet. I was a walking iPod commercial.

But yeah, I was able to get my think on about a lot of things that've been bothering me. That's the beauty of running or any physical activity. You let your body get into a groove and your mind is free to wonder and work out any problem you may have in your life. And sometimes, by golly, when you get to do that activity under the stars, sometimes life is just too perfect.

Voter Fraud

So Ann Coulter is either really, really stupid or she could have knowingly committed a third-degree felony. Whatever happens, I'm sure Ann will take it like a man.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy VD

As my friends and I called it in college, Venereal Disease. I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day, but not due to the overcommercialization or because I'm jilted because I don't have someone to share it with today. I don't like it simply for the fact that I've never had a boyfriend during the blessed holiday.

Since coming out atleast partially my senior year of high school and thus moving from awkwardly dating girls to awkwardly dating guys, I have never had a boyfriend on February 14. Perhaps a curse, perhaps coincidence, boyfriends and I just don't make it too far into the month of supposed love and happiness.

I remember my first Valentine's Day when it was supposed to mean something. My girlfriend Becky -- who, as it turns out years later, came out to her friends and family as a lesbian -- and I had been dating for three months by the time February crept upon us. I was in seventh grade, she was in sixth. By this time in my life I had already come out to myself but had also consigned myself to the life of unhappy straightness. (This self-realization and self-denial lasted a good eight or nine years out of my almost-24 year existence.) Becky's mother bought all the presents and said they were from me. We didn't last a month longer.

Looking at the reasons why I unambiguously don't like Valentines's Day, I realize that the day has come to represent an inability of mine to make a relationship last. In six years since coming out of the closet and putting myself squarely on the dating scene, my longest relationship is three months. How many possibly fulfilling relationships have I ruined because of issues I can't deal with? How many feasibly long-lasting relationships have I rejected because I can't stand to be rejected so I rid myself of those who could hurt me?

Another year to live. Another Valentine's Day to hate.

Heart Stopping Excitement

The 78-year-old lawyer who was shot by Dick Cheney in a hunting accident has some birdshot lodged in his heart and he had a "minor heart attack," a hospital official said Tuesday.

He allegedly contracted a minor case of The Cheney after being in close proximity with the vice president.

David Letterman:
"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
From "Cheney's Excuses," Monday night's Top 10 list: "I thought the guy was trying to go gay cowboy on me."

Jay Leno:
"After he shot the guy, he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'"
"Cheney's defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the White House since Bill Clinton."

Monday, February 13, 2006

Barnum's in Iraq

This isn't a trial. This is a circus.
The former Iraqi leader and his co-defendants were forced to attend the session. Saddam appeared in a traditional Arab robe and bedroom slippers instead of his usual crisp suit, arguing vehemently with the judge and shouting "Down with Bush!" as he waved his finger.

His top co-defendant and half brother, Barzan Ibrahim -- dressed only in long underwear -- struggled with guards as he was pulled into the courtroom. Ibrahim, the former chief of intelligence, then sat on the floor with his back to the judge in protest for much of the session.

How to Pray

As I do from time to time, I got an email from the holy Dr. Rick Scarborough, president of Vision America, once again discussing his upcoming conference on the War on Christians and the values voter called The War On Christians And The Values Voter In 2006. He wrote me to inform me of two things. One, if I buy tickets now I can save $24 for individuals, $35 for couples.

Dr. Scarborough also tells me today in the email that Chaplain Gordon Klingenschmitt has been added to the list of speakers at the conference. Klingenschmitt, Scarborough says, "fasted outside the White House for 18 days to secure the right to pray as Jesus instructed us." This is odd because I didn't know the president denied anyone -- let alone Mr. Kligenschmitt -- the right to pray in the privacy of one's own bedroom.

Jesus explicitly describes the correct way to pray in Matthew 6:5-6. "When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites! They love to stand up and pray in the houses of worship and on the street corners, so that everyone will see them. I assure you, they have already been paid in full. But when you pray, go to your room, close the door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what you do in private, will reward you."

Wouldn't anyone who read the Bible, or even parts of the Bible, including Chaplain Klingenschmitt, know this passage already? The Messiah, the Son of God gave direct instructions to His people on the correct way to pray to the Almighty Father. How can Scarborough, Klingenschmitt or anyone else confuse His words? This is one of the things wrong with organized religion. Those who pretend to be learned about the Bible and God's Word use the Bible and God's Word to mislead the masses. The Chaplin didn't starve himself outside of the White House for anything noble. In fact, it was a publicity stunt against nothing that is being used to split the population into those who fall for their falsehoods and those who see them for what they really are: hypocrites. Jesus himself said, "I assure you, they have already been paid in full." Perhaps it is not the homosexuals who should worry about their immortal souls. It will be the hypocrites and the misleaders who will answer for their crimes against religion.

Christianity has survived a legacy of arrests and executions and back-door prayer meetings in ancient Rome, the Soviet Union and the Middle East. I don't think it's in trouble.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

He Didn't Shoot the Deputy

He shot a man. In other news, GOP Sen. George Allen said on Sunday that a full investigation is necessary to see to what extent Dick Cheney and others in the CIA leak probe authorized an aide to give secret information to reporters. You know, national security and all that jazz.

Let's get back to the fact that Cheney shot a man. I was napping this afternoon and woke up to pee. I ventured out to the kitchen, passing the living room where I heard the music for breaking news on TV. I watched the little news brief on the incident and then went back to bed. Fast forward to about three hours when I woke up and went about my normal business. A part of me thought maybe the whole incident was just all part of a weird dream. Alas, no. It's now a documented fact that Dick Cheney knows very little about gun safety.

The saddest/funniest paragraph from the story on the shooting:
"Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been," she said. "The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came."

Call Me

James Tobin, a former RNC regional director in New Hampshire, was accused of helping former state GOP executive director Chuck McGee carry out a plan to jam Democratic and firefighters union get-out-the-vote telephone lines on the morning of Election Day 2002, and subsequently was found guilty. He faces a maximum seven-year prison term and $500,000 in fines.

That's pretty low, eh? Jamming telephone lines of the opponent so they can't call voters and make sure they go vote. You would think the GOP would label him scum and move on. But, alas, no. The Republican National Committee has spent $2.5 million for his defense. Two-point-five million dollars. He's what's wrong with politics.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Splitting Hairs

When asked about a picture, provided by Chief Raul Garza of the Kickapoo tribe of Texas, of President Bush and disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff at a meeting for a group of state legislators who were supporting Mr. Bush's 2001 tax cut plan, press secretary Scotty McClellan made the comment that it was unclear how the lobbyist had entered the White House grounds.

If they can't keep tabs on the people on the White House grounds, what are the chances that they can keep terrorists out of the country?

Friday, February 10, 2006

Friday Random 10

It's Friday. (Vendredi, en français.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Float On (Modest Mouse, Mix CD)
2. Mr. Jones (Counting Crows, August & Everything After)
3. Good Intentions (Toad the Wet Sprocket, In Light Syrup)
4. Beside Fall in Love (OK Jones, Push/Pull)
5. Africa (Toto, Toto IV)
6. Shelter From the Storm (Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks)
7. Mother Nature's Son (Sheryl Crow, I Am Sam soundtrack)
8. Traveling Soldier (Dixie Chicks, Mix CD)
9. Roses (Andre 3000, The Love Below)
10. Babylon (David Gray, White Ladder)

Great Lyrics of the Week
I hope she's speeding on the way to the club, trying to hurry up to get to some baller or singer or somebody like that and try to put on her makeup in the mirror and crash, crash, crash into a ditch!

A Savage People Can Like

This may very well be my favorite op-ed piece ever written. Dan Savage seamlessly portrays fundamental Christians as hypocrites and total losers by comparing the community's response to two different, yet connected, movies. It's brilliant and I may just write him a letter of thanks. Here are some of my favorite passages.
"Gay activist" is a term evangelicals apply to any homosexual who isn't a gay doormat.
...that's troubling to evangelical Christians who have invested a decade and millions of dollars promoting the notion that gay men can be converted to heterosexuality, or become "ex-gay." It is, they insist, an ex-gay movement, although I've never met a gay man who was moved to join it.
Sometimes I wonder if evangelicals really believe that gay men can go straight. If they don't think Chad Allen can play straight convincingly for 108 minutes, do they honestly imagine that gay men who aren't actors can play straight for a lifetime?
If anything, supporters of traditional marriage should want gay men out of the heterosexual marriage market entirely.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Sappy Internet Love Poems

Someone from the usdoj.gov server found my writings this afternoon by way of this American blog written in French. Reading through it inspired me to write a post every so often on sappy Internet love poems. The first will obviously be in French with a rough translation from yours truly.

tu es mon sang, tu es mon oxygène
tu es ma raison d'être
tu es mon remède
tout ne m'est rien si c'est sans toi


you are my blood, you are my oxygen
you are my reason for being
you are my remedy
all is nothing to me if it's without you.

I Authorize Thee

It is being reported today by the National Journal that "Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby, testified to a federal grand jury that he had been 'authorized' by Cheney and other White House 'superiors' in the summer of 2003 to disclose classified information to journalists to defend the Bush administration's use of prewar intelligence in making the case to go to war with Iraq, according to attorneys familiar with the matter, and to court records."

Whatever happened to the conservative mantra of protecting national security? I mean, they pretend to be champions of freedom, destroyers of terrorism and protectors of the homeland, but they quickly shed any sort of conviction if it means saving their asses from unethical, illegal and/or embarrassing deeds. While on the subject, whatever happened to the conservative mantra of limited government? That always gets a laugh or two. Or three or four.

No Informative Value

Today a mother of a student came into the classroom to discuss her child's behavior recently and to see what progress we have noted since the last meeting. She's only a few years older than I am, maybe late twenties, and is pregnent with her seventh child. She miscarried one, so this is going to be the sixth child living with them in a cramped house outside of a small town. It's a regular 21st-century Brady Bunch.

The conversation quickly moved to her pregnency. She's hoping for a girl, whom she wants to call Sugar. If it's a boy, MacGyver will be his name. And yet she can't understand where these celebrities come up with their children's names. "Apple," she asked. "Where did she get that?!" Then she offered that her husband -- yes, she's actually married! -- thought of the name Hummer but she doesn't think so because it reminds her of a blow-job.

And this is the future of our country. God help us all.

Angry Righty Tighties

The Associated Press today writes,
The leader of Hezbollah, heading a march by hundreds of thousands of Shiite Muslims Thursday, said President Bush and his secretary of state should "shut up" after they accused Syria and Iran of fueling protests over cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad.
How childish is that? Honestly, who says "shut up" over and over again like a rabid lunatic? Oh yeah, him.

In other, angry rightist spewing, yesterday radio host Glenn Beck asked his listeners, "Is there a bigger waste of skin than Jimmy Carter?" If a Democrat said this about any former GOP president, the Democrat would be labeled "angry" and crucified by the so-called liberal media. Oh how the hypocrisy abounds.

And what's a 23-second long standing ovation for a reverend chastising the Bush administration during Coretta King's funeral to FOX News? Blasphemy. And yet the orgy previously known as the Reagan funeral knew no such editing. Funny.

Break Out the Whips

The president is in New Hampshire today attempting to bring people to the light. No, he's not saving souls. He's trying to garner support for the 2007 budget -- and it ain't looking good.

The right-leaning Union Leader wrote, "Mr. President, you are not fooling anyone. Stop these short-term political games and give us a budget that brings federal spending down to a sustainable level. Don't let the American people down by passing this problem on to our children."

The middle of the road Nashua Telegraph wrote, "Your administration says the nation is still on course to reduce the deficit in half by 2009. It sounds much too good to be true. And while we're at it, some of those cuts, especially in Medicare and Medicaid programs, as well as for education, could impact our state budget severely. Lowering federal responsibilities by hiking state or local budgets is a deceptive way to achieve deficit reduction."

And the Portsmouth Herald wrote "We are concerned about your priorities and find it hard to understand why you would seemingly sacrifice government aid to the nation's most needy for the sake of building up armed forces that are already the strongest in the world.... There is a trust issue involved here, Mr. President."

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

German Karaoke Wednesday

The object of the game is to translate the following song titles into English from the German translation and guess what song it once was. Some are easy. Some provide more of a challenge. Using Altavista's Babelfish, let the games begin.

1. König Of All The World
2. Rollerskate Dünn
3. Buick Stadt-Komplex
4. Vogel In Einem Rahmen
5. Herauf Die Bezahlung Des Teufels
6. Was Ich Nicht Tun Würde
7. Frage
8. Bin Ich Zu Spät
9. Leicht
10. Kann Nicht Eine Linie Erhalten
11. Designs Auf Ihnen
12. Buch Der Gedichte
13. Nervöser Kerl

* This Week's Hint: These are all songs on a CD from one of Flamingo Jones' favorite bands of all times. I'm trying to cheer her up a little.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

First Ever Zac Attack Outing

If you're thinking about going, contact me. I may be going too!

Let's take back this country from those filthy non-Christians! Yeah! I long for the day when the President of the United States and a majority of Congressmen, Senators, Governors and Supreme Court Justices are Christian. Yeah! Yaaaaargh!
Dear Zac,

As the president of Vision America, I’d like to extend a personal invitation to you to attend our March 27-28 conference, The War On Christians And The Values Voter in 2006, -- March 27-28 at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Washington, DC.

Christians are under constant assault from the news media, Hollywood, judges and groups like the ACLU. With each passing year with each passing day this campaign of lies and slander intensifies.

We must fight back. I urge you to attend this vital conference The War On Christians And The Values Voter in 2006. We need to educate ourselves and educate the public. Then we need to mobilize and activate Christian America for the struggle ahead.

Click here for conference details and online registration. This is a conference you can’t afford to miss.

By registering today, you’ll qualify for the conference’s early registration fee. I’ll also send you an autographed copy of my book, “Enough Is Enough” a guide to Christian political activism.

I look forward to seeing you at The War on Christians And The Values Voter In 2006 conference.

Sincerely,

Rick Scarborough
President
Vision America
A fringe whacko group? Perhaps. But their scheduled speaker list includes Senator Sam Brownback, Senator John Cornyn, Congressman Tom DeLay, Congressman Todd Akin, Congressman Louis Gohmert, Rod Parsley, Gary Bauer, Janet Parshall, Alan Keyes, Rick Scarborough, Ron Luce, Phyllis Schlafly and Dr. Laurence White, with a panel discussion entitled, "The Gay Agenda: America Won’t Be Happy." I'll see you there!

Random Information

Now here's a shocker: Karl Rove is a dick.

And in the never-ending feud between New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof and TV/radio talkster Bill O'Reilly, Kristof stepped up his efforts yesterday to have O'Reilly put some action where his mouth is by seeking donations to send his colleague to Africa to see firsthand "the hundreds of thousands of rapes, murders and mutilations in Darfur." Emails can be sent to sponsorbill@gmail.com with information on how much you are willing to give to send O'Reilly away.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Feeling Good

There's nothing quite like some retail therapy to beat back a bad case of the Mondays. My sister and I went to the mall earlier this afternoon where I bought a great pair of jeans that make me look absolutely fabulous. All smugness aside, I don't usually like buying clothes because nothing ever fits right and I feel like an idiot. But these jeans are perfect.

I also picked up three new pairs of boxers and a bottle of new cologne. You can't really go wrong with undergarments. And I wasn't too keen on the cologne at first but my sister sprayed some on my arm and we continued shopping for about a half hour. In that time the fragrance combined and mixed with my natural body scent and they created this wonderful, aromatic fragrance that was -- and still is -- making me very happy.

Add a nice shirt from my closet and a cute guy and I gots me-self one hell of a date tomorrow evening! I can't wait. Smokin'.

Troy, Troy

Hey, it was true in the playoffs. I'm not sure what happened last night.

Friday Random 10, et al.

First and foremost, the Steelers freaking rock.

Second, I have a sinus infection and I just worked 35 hours this weekend at my "second" job. The manager was out of town on a family emergency so I was left as a backup of sorts. I'm sick and I'm tired and I'm ready to sleep the rest of this week.

Third, I got some bad family news yesterday while at work, two hours before kick-off. Not cool, but it was for the best. Maybe I'll get into that later.

Fourth, I'm going to try to post more regularly again. My computer has ad/malware on it that I just can't get rid of and they end my Internet experience rather abruptly. I get pissed off at my computer, want to throw it across the room, and usually just shut it down and walk away.

Fifth: It's Friday. (Imagine.) You know what that means. The rules: Take out your iPod or other musical device. Put it in "random" mode. Hit "play." Write down the first ten tracks that come up -- and no fair putting in ones you think will make you look cool, or omitting ones that make you look like a total dork.

1. Intergalactic (Beastie Boys, Hello Nasty)
2. In the Light (dcTalk, Welcome...)
3. Lives of Crime (Fruit Bats, Spelled in Bones)
4. Chinese Children (Devendra Banhart, Mix CD)
5. You Were Meant for Me (Jewel, Pieces of You)
6. Martyr (Rusted Root, When I Woke)
7. Will I (Aaron Lohr, Rent Soundtrack)
8. Ohio (CSNY, So Far)
9. Tiny Dancer (Elton John, Greatest Hits)
10. When I Come Around (Green Day, Dookie)

Sixth, Tiny Dancer is awesome to sing along with when you change the words to Tony Danza.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Pahlahmahlu

So yeah, I got a haircut today. I think I look good, but with as little hair as I have already it's hard to get a bad haircut. But yeah, I'm looking damned good.

In other news, I think I'm coming down with a sinus infection. I was around two known-cases of sinus infection all day today so chances are fairly good that I'm right. I hope I'm not, but I may.

In other, other news, it's Groundhog Day. Among other things.

Oh yeah, for you Steeler fans out there -- or at least fans of silly music -- I highly suggest downloading and listening to the Polamalu Song. For information on who he is exactly, check here. You can't listen to the radio without hearing it at least once every fifteen minutes here around Pittsburgh. And it's freaking catchy, so you're humming it in between listenings. Damn Muppets.