I Appoint Thee

Damn obstructionist Republicans. Last night the White House announced that President Bush, brushing aside a stall tactic by Sen. Trent Lott, R-Miss., appointed the nine-member commission that will determine military bases closings without waiting for Senate confirmation.

Lott, the racist former Senate Majority Leader with a heart of gold for the gents and ladies in uniform, had said the United States should not be closing bases while troops are at war. "I will try to stop it at any point and in any way I possibly can." He placed a "hold" on Principi's nomination, according to aides and lobbyists speaking on condition of anonymity. The hold delayed voting on the nomination. He also was expected to place holds on the other nominations as well, the aides and lobbyists told The Associated Press earlier this week.

But his everything wasn't enough to stop the evil Bush Junta from appointing a commission during the Senate recess, thus skirting Lott's objections. The commission will determine which military bases in the United States are just asking to be closed in our time of perpetual war, and which will be allowed to stay open and house our men and women who are fighting in far off countries and whose families count on the bases as their home.

God. Their love for our soldiers is the stuff dreams are made of.